IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
Nowadays, the level of success is measured by means of social status, money and material possession. New terms
such
 as 5C which stands for cars, credit cards, condominium, cash and career has become the universal standard even for a girl to look for her perfect
one
.
However
 the society still refuses to accept
one
 who is ruthless, dishonest or disrespectful. It shows gentleman values are always the core to evaluate a
person regardless
Accept comma addition
person, regardless
 how high
one
 has thrived in
one
’s possession. Many times, people sought for good values in a person, regardless of being a friend, working colleagues, or life partner. It may not be
mention
Suggestion
mentioned
 as
frequently
Suggestion
frequent
, but
one
 who
honors
a university degree with honors
honours
such
 values will always be preferable. Many job interviews require not just work experience or education background, but two
referee
Suggestion
referees
 from previous jobs; it is to find out about the work ethic or what values the interviewee
honored
having an illustrious reputation; respected
honoured
. Some companies even required their staff to sign
additional contract
Suggestion
additional contracts
an additional contract
 of integrity to ensure the company latest development or business progression will not be jeopardized.
One
 may not notice as much, but these values are always
honored
having an illustrious reputation; respected
honoured
.
On the other hand
, good values are the virtue of a society.
One
 who despises integrity or
dishonor
bring shame or dishonor upon
dishonour
 will not thrive. People tend to choose leaders with good values and these leaders will always be remembered.
For example
, the former United States president, Barrack
Obama has been always
Suggestion
Obama has always been
 used to compare with the current president, as people could not tolerate a ruthless president. Kindness, honesty and compassion are the values that everyone seeks for. President Trump may be rich, but people still despise his attitude.
Although
 people
tends
Suggestion
tend
 to get materialistic, and pursue high social status, but
such
 values will always be important. It may seem as if a supplementary thing we look at in many
instance
Suggestion
instances
, but these are always the values we seek for in our instinct. In my opinion,
such
 values are always important.
Submitted by wenyichian on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: