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Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that raising the price of fast foods will solve this problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #price #foods
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An increasing number of individuals are obese.It is considered by some that inflating the price of
junk
Use synonyms
 foods will effectively deal with
this
Linking Words
 issue
.
Accept space
.
I totally agree that
increment
Suggestion
the increment
 in the
cost
Use synonyms
 of foods with high fat content will not only dissuade people from eating it
,
Accept space
,
but
also
Linking Words
 compel owners of restaurants to diversify and adjust their menu. Increasing the price of
junk
Use synonyms
 meals will discourage people from consuming it as a staple source of food.
Junk
Use synonyms
 foods are relatively cheaper than organic foods, so people include these foods high in sugar and fat contents as part of their daily
meals
Suggestion
meal
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in rural areas where it is expensive to buy junks meals, people rely solely on nutritious meals that are more affordable which enable them maintain
healthy weight
Suggestion
a healthy weight
. Another reason to consider is that raising
cost
Use synonyms
 prices of these
junk
Use synonyms
 foods will lead to low patronage of restaurants where people buy
such
Linking Words
 foods.
This
Linking Words
 unprecedented high
cost
Use synonyms
 of buying these foods will reduce the number of people who will patronize them.
As a result
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
restaurants
Suggestion
restaurant
 owners will diversify and start preparing nutritious meals for people that would help them maintain
healthy body mass index
Suggestion
a healthy body mass index
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
In Germany
,
Accept space
,
75 percent of eateries that
preparef
Suggestion
prepare f
 fast foods changed their menu to mainly organic foods because they experienced
reduction
Suggestion
a reduction
reductions
 in the number of customers. In conclusion, increasing the
cost
Use synonyms
 price of
junk
Use synonyms
 meals is a viable option to combat obesity by dissuading people from buying which will timely lead
to
Suggestion
in
 low patronage of restaurants that produce it.
Submitted by Bolade on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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