Nowadays people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development

#people #ages #parts #world #time #home #development

Most people from different age group are glued to their computer or cell phone these days.

This

is not a positive development because when

any one

any person

anyone

spends their entire day

Suggestion

front of

computer screen

Suggestion

the computer screen

a computer screen

or phone screen it

will leads

Suggestion

will lead

to health problems. They may even develop

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

issues. From my perspective, it is beneficial for everyone to explore themselves towards outdoor activities like sports and

many

Suggestion

much

more. As far as I think outdoor activities are good for everyone. They make them fitter and stronger as

individual

Suggestion

an individual

individuals

. By playing outdoor games it

increase

Suggestion

increases

the stamina of the body. A survey was done by Health times showing a report that

person

Suggestion

a person

people

involved in sports

have

Suggestion

has

healthier life and live

long

Suggestion

longer

than those people who stay in their

home

Thus one

Accept comma addition

Thus, one

should get involved in outdoor activities in their life.

In contrast

this

, spending more

time

Suggestion

home

and watching TV leads to several health problems like obesity and diabetes due to lack of physical movements.

Furthermore

such

people face difficulties in

interaction

Suggestion

interacting

in social life.

This

is because; people do not communicate with their friends, relatives or

neighbor

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

which give

raise

move upward

rise

to lack of confidence to interacting with others. As evidence,

repost

Suggestion

a report

report

the report

was presented by Public speaker

Authority claiming

Accept comma addition

Authority, claiming

that interpersonal skills in people are cultivated only by spending

time

outside from

home

and having words with others.

Thus staying

Accept comma addition

Thus, staying

Suggestion

home

has adverse effect on our health and personality. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that spending

time

outdoor

Suggestion

outdoors

and getting involved in outdoor actives makes our body fit and

healthier

Suggestion

healthy

and on the other side spending more

time

Suggestion

home

have

Suggestion

has

negative effect

Suggestion

a negative effect

on our personality.

Submitted by It on Tue Jul 16 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that it is the resposibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Health is one of the most fundamental rights of human beings. Some people argue that consuming a healthy menu is a personal authority, while others believe that the authority should lend a hand to monitor it. This essay will discuss both statements and why I side with the latter.
4
band
Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibilities to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, other argue that consumers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging Discuss both views and give your opinion
Packaging trash can be a burden to environment nowadays. While some people believe consumers should reduce buying goods that are wrapped with a lot of packaging, i stand with those who think that reducing amount of packaging goods is the responsibility of manufactures and supermarkets.
6
band
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encourage. others belive that children who are thought to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for answers and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Cooperation and competition play crucial roles in one's life, with advocates for both viewpoints. Some argue that children should engage in healthy competition, while others believe they should be encouraged to cooperate, fostering skills that contribute to becoming more useful adults. In my opinion, both elements are essential aspects of a child's development, each having its positive and negative aspects.
4.5
band
Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?
It is true that many people these days prefer to have their own business, rather than to work for an employer. There are numerous reasons which encourage people to be self-employed, but no doubt there would be some drawbacks in this case.
7
band
In the future, nobody will buy printed news papers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Today’s technology becomes more common and growing faster around the world. Many people were arguing, in the future, nobody will purchase printed books and newspapers like in earlier decades. Because technology provides us with various types of opportunities to access those materials without any charges.

Nowadays people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is the resposibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people feel that manufactures and supermarkets have the responsibilities to reduce the amount of packaging of goods, other argue that consumers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging Discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed, than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

In the future, nobody will buy printed news papers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?