Nowadays people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development

#people #ages #parts #world #time #home #development

Most people from different age group are glued to their computer or cell phone these days.

This

is not a positive development because when

any one

any person

anyone

spends their entire day

Suggestion

front of

computer screen

Suggestion

the computer screen

a computer screen

or phone screen it

will leads

Suggestion

will lead

to health problems. They may even develop

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

issues. From my perspective, it is beneficial for everyone to explore themselves towards outdoor activities like sports and

many

Suggestion

much

more. As far as I think outdoor activities are good for everyone. They make them fitter and stronger as

individual

Suggestion

an individual

individuals

. By playing outdoor games it

increase

Suggestion

increases

the stamina of the body. A survey was done by Health times showing a report that

person

Suggestion

a person

people

involved in sports

have

Suggestion

has

healthier life and live

long

Suggestion

longer

than those people who stay in their

home

Thus one

Accept comma addition

Thus, one

should get involved in outdoor activities in their life.

In contrast

this

, spending more

time

Suggestion

home

and watching TV leads to several health problems like obesity and diabetes due to lack of physical movements.

Furthermore

such

people face difficulties in

interaction

Suggestion

interacting

in social life.

This

is because; people do not communicate with their friends, relatives or

neighbor

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

which give

raise

move upward

rise

to lack of confidence to interacting with others. As evidence,

repost

Suggestion

a report

report

the report

was presented by Public speaker

Authority claiming

Accept comma addition

Authority, claiming

that interpersonal skills in people are cultivated only by spending

time

outside from

home

and having words with others.

Thus staying

Accept comma addition

Thus, staying

Suggestion

home

has adverse effect on our health and personality. In conclusion, it is crystal clear that spending

time

outdoor

Suggestion

outdoors

and getting involved in outdoor actives makes our body fit and

healthier

Suggestion

healthy

and on the other side spending more

time

Suggestion

home

have

Suggestion

has

negative effect

Suggestion

a negative effect

on our personality.

Submitted by It on Tue Jul 16 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers and this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Despite health warning, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. why should we be concerned about this? what solution would you suggest? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Artificial intelligence will soon replace teachers in the classroom . Do you agree with this statement? What is an alternative to face-to-face teaching?

It is sometimes said that the countryside offer high quality of life, especially for families. What are the argument for and against families choosing to live and work in the countryside, for example as farmer? what is your own view about this?