In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #unemployment #pupils #education #point #hope #job

In many countries where there is a high proportion of unemployed people, it is argued that most students should be provided only primary

education

and there is no secondary offer for those who are unlikely to have a job. In my opinion, I completely disagree with

this

point of view It is evident that offering secondary

education

for primary

schoolchildren

Suggestion

school child

school children

benefits both individuals and the economy.

Firstly

education

beyond

primary one

Suggestion

the primary one

provides students with the opportunity to acquire various soft skills

such

as communication skills, team-playing or presentation skills, which improves their future career

propects

the possibility of future success

prospects

Therefore

, those who are considered unemployable in their primary school time would become competitive applicants in the job market as they are armed with knowledge and skills included in the secondary

cirriculum

an integrated course of academic studies

curriculum

Secondly

, highly educated students are required in many sectors of the economy.

Although

technology advance has cut down a significant number of labours in some

fields namely

Accept comma addition

fields, namely

agriculture or heavy industry, there is an existing demand for professionally trained

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

in certain jobs like nursing, researching as well as financial consulting

In addition

, lack of provision of secondary

education

has negative impacts on the society. The evident scenario is that there will be a rise in crime rate. As those lacking secondary

education

do not have

Suggestion

does not have

sufficient qualities

to meet

Suggestion

meet

the the

definite article

the

need of most employers, they are unable to join the workforce and become unemployed.

As a result

, they might resort to illegal activities and

thus

fall foul of the law.

Moreover

secondary

Suggestion

the secondary education shortage

a secondary education shortage

education

shortage is

also

responsible for poverty and hunger. Indeed, primarily educated

labors

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labours

labour

will have difficulty finding a job and be only able to do manual works which are physically demanding to meet the basic

neccessities

the condition of being essential or indispensable

necessities

In conclusion, it is pivotal to widely offer

education

for pupils, at least

Suggestion

a secondary level.

Submitted by Thanh on Tue Jul 16 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, ​however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others think that there are better ways to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion ?

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others,  however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work.    Discuss both views and give your own opinion.