At present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compare with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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The population today in some nations consist a huge proportion of young adults in comparison to the
number
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of senior citizens. The advantages do outweigh its drawbacks,
although
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it would mean there are more
competition
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for jobs, I believe it helps to build a country
economy
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due to vast
number
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in the
workforce
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.
Large
Suggestion
The large number
A large number
number
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of young adults would result in higher
competition
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for work.
This
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is to say that the jobs in the market are limited and with the enormous
number
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of young adults struggle to secure employment will be intense as many young adults would have to fight for the same
job
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.
As a result
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, companies will have to release older employees in order to
path way
a bundle of myelinated nerve fibers following a path through the brain
pathway
for the younger workers because companies does not have to pay higher wages for an employee to do a similar
job
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.
For example
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, in the Singapore,
job
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competition
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is intense due to the limited jobs available for young adults.
However
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, I believe with vast young adults in
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workforce
Suggestion
a workforce
the workforce
it would improve a country’s
economy
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. The huge
number
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of young adults in
workforce
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ensures an improvement towards its
economy
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.
This
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is because with the large
number
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of young adults would lead to higher employment by most companies in order for the companies to generate revenue to improve its business and
this
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in turn will contribute to the development a country’s
economy
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.
For instance
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, in the Japan the country has the biggest
workforce
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consists of young adults and it has seen an improvement towards its
economy
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by 10% due the jobs being employed by young adults. I believe, it develops a
country
Suggestion
country's
economy
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due higher employment by young adults. In conclusion, higher
number
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of young adults would increase
job
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competition
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among other young adults,
where as
on the other hand
whereas
, I believe its benefit of reinforcing a country’s
economy
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clearly outweighs
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
demerit.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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