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Band 5

It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view?

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In many countries, the population is ageing consistently, and
this
Linking Words
 presents the older
people
Use synonyms
 themselves with challenges
as well as
Linking Words
 opportunities. It seems to me that
retirement
Use synonyms
 is not in fact the most contented period of life, and I will explain why in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, retired
people
Use synonyms
 have to contend with the major issue of
health
Use synonyms
. No matter how optimistic a person is, and how conscientiously they try to keep fit, their
health
Use synonyms
 will inevitably decline as they grow older.
This
Linking Words
 affects their mobility, their ability to interact with
people
Use synonyms
, and their physical comfort when compared to the earlier stages of their life. A second negative factor is the whole question of finance. By
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
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 we mean that even
people
Use synonyms
 who have saved or invested carefully during their working lives will find their income in
retirement
Use synonyms
 reduced considerably,
for example
Linking Words
 by relying on savings.
This
Linking Words
 results in their leisure options being more restricted than in their younger years, even though they have more time to fill.
This
Linking Words
 leads us
on
Change preposition
apply
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to the final, and perhaps most significant drawback to
retirement
Use synonyms
, which is isolation.
This
Linking Words
 happens when declining
health
Use synonyms
 and limited resources make
people
Use synonyms
 increasingly
cut-off
Correct your spelling
cut off
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, even if they have surviving family members who seek to care for them.
However
Linking Words
 much the family (or neighbours and social services) may offer support,
this
Linking Words
 lack of contact will lead progressively to a less contented frame of mind. It is true that there are some positives to
retirement
Use synonyms
, most notably the time to pursue personal interests and the presence of grandchildren in many cases. Despite
this
Linking Words
, it seems that for many older
people
Use synonyms
, these pleasures are outweighed by issues which can cause stress and depression.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the problems of
health
Use synonyms
, financial concerns and isolation combine together to make
retirement
Use synonyms
 a challenging and potentially difficult time for many, especially when compared to the prime period of life.
This
Linking Words
 is not to say that all retired
people
Use synonyms
 suffer in
this
Linking Words
 way, but it appears to be the case very frequently.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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