Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Violence

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on television and in computer

games

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has become a major issue today.

Violence

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is one of the most pervasive phenomena in society . Some people think that media

violence

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has a negative effect on the community,

whereas

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others do not. I do not believe that media and

video

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violence

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damages society.

This

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essay will give the evidence to support my opinion. There are many reasons why I think that

violence

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in media does not have any damaging effects on society.

First,

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millions of teenagers enjoy and participate in violent

video

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games

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. The evidence to support

this

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lies in criminal statistics. Violent teenage crimes have decreased.

Second,

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a person's actions are a reflection of who they are. Television and computer

games

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don't shape personalities

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

rather, family and environment do.

In addition

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, a normally adjusted person can recognise and distinguish between the virtual world and reality.

Finally

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, parents can control their children. Every game has a parental control option.

In addition

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, there are restrictions that warn parents about the violent content.

On the contrary

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violence

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on TV and in

video

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games

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is pure entertainment.

First,

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aggressive scenes and

games

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can provide a creative atmosphere. An example of

this

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is that bloody stories in

games

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or on television give a deep experience for the viewer .

Furthermore

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, it is understood that these are simply depictions.

Second,

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gamers and viewers are free to enjoy their

games

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and movies.

For example

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, the creators can block the aggressive scenes from children.

Finally

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, violent

games

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and films can sometimes reduce stress.

For instance

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, some people play

such

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games

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not to be aggressive, but to release their anger. In conclusion, it is clear to see that neither computers nor TV is a major reason for

violence

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Moreover

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video

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and TV can be a source of pleasure.

alfred

Aug 16, 2025

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overall

State your view in a clear way in the first paragraph and keep it clear to the end.

coherence

Use more linking words to show how ideas go with each other, like also, but, because, so.

coherence

Give strong and clear proof for your ideas. Do not rely on one or two facts.

structure

Make each paragraph hold one main idea and its proof.

grammar

Check grammar and use plain words. Avoid big words that may be wrong.

progress

The essay keeps a clear view and easy to follow line.

structure

There is a good set up with intro, body and conclusion.

coherence

There are signs of good link use and contrast between ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: <4

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter in response to the parent. In your letter, you should: • discuss and evaluate the issues raised by the parent in the letter • give your own views about teaching life skills and whether you think these lessons should replace other subjects in the curriculum.

Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People say that it is a waste of time for high school students to learn literature at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?