Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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Violence

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on television and in computer

games

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has been a long-discussed topic for its potential harmful effects on the community.I partially agree with

this

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view, as there are several factors that explain how violent content can

influence

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behaviour,

although

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their impact is relatively limited.

This

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essay will provide evidence to support my opinion. On the one hand, there are several compelling

reasons

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why

this

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does not

influence

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violence

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First,

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awareness is essential, which helps one know the potential dangers one may face.

For example

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, news talking about the surge of crime in London,

this

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helped prevent injuries and robberies by a small percentage,

due to

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public awareness.

Second,

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computer

games

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may contain violent imagery, but

this

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causes no harm to people.

For instance

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, in a recent study, ninety

percent

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per cent

show examples

of people who play violent

games

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do not experience harmful thoughts.

Finally

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, Upbringing is another major contributor to a person's character. Numerous individuals learn values at a young age,

due to

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a peer or a parent, which helps people move away from

violence

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However

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on the other hand

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, there are a couple of

reasons

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for the

influence

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of violent behaviour.

Violence

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is being normalised in the gaming community. Gang affiliation has increased over time,

due to

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games

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normalising

this

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For instance

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, there is a game that allows a person to choose a criminal group to affiliate with.

Second,

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on live television, celebrities usually normalise criminal activities

Punctuation problem

;

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some celebrities are often affiliated with criminals. The youth is easily influenced, which caused an involvement in a criminal organisation. In conclusion, there are a favourable number of

reasons

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this

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does not lead to

violence

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, but the other

reasons

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should be considered.

Furthermore

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, in my opinion, the

influence

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violence

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should not be considered since there are few.

alfred

Aug 16, 2025

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task response

Give a clearer opinion and keep it the same from start to end.

task response

Explain your main ideas more. Some points are too short or not fully clear.

task response

Use examples that are more direct and easy to trust.

coherence and cohesion

Make links between ideas smoother. Some sentences jump too fast.

coherence and cohesion

Use one clear topic sentence for each body paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Check paragraph balance. The second body paragraph is shorter and less developed.

task response

You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use basic linking words like First, Second, Finally, and However.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this?