IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is it the case? What can be done to attract local people to these places?

#museums #sites #tourists #people #case #places
Nowhere in history has the issue of visits from foreigners outnumbering those of locals been more visible.
Accordingly
,
this
 essay aims at examining
this
 phenomenon from various aspects as well as proposing possible solutions. A number of factors may account for
this
 imbalance. Among the most viable reasons cited by people, the most common one is due to the curiosity of foreign tourists. Being newcomers to a country different from their homes, they will be inclined to gain deeper insights into the cultures that they are new to.
Therefore
, museums and places of historical importance receive
considerable amount
Suggestion
a considerable amount
 of attention from the non-natives.
However
, the causes go far deeper than mere curiosity. One may attribute the high entrance fees to
this
 imbalance in visits.
In particular
, ticket price at these places are seemingly costly to less rich locals but the opposite for foreigners. In order to encourage attendance from locals, many courses of actions need to be taken urgently. In response to
this
 challenge, one of the effective methods is to cut entrance fees at these sites so that visitors, regardless of nationality, will gain access more easily. Another feature worth consideration is that museum directors should revise their contents so as to organise visits to museums or history-related sites in a more creative and inspiring way.
This
 policy, if carried out successfully, will not only enhance their
images but
Accept comma addition
images, but
 will
also
 attract more visitors since there will be a higher chance of those who have had the experience recommending their place of choice for others. All in all, museums and places of historical importance will be able to alleviate attendance of locals if prices and qualities are reconsidered.
Therefore
, I strongly demand
this
 paper be taken into scrutiny to adopt appropriate policies.
Submitted by Trang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: