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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries people are concerned about the number of children who are overweight. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #children
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Increase
Use synonyms
 in body mass index (BMI) into the range of overweight and obesity in children has become a source of concern for many people in different countries due to its detrimental effects on their health. I will discuss common causative factors to
this
Linking Words
 effect and possible solutions in the following paragraphs
Firstly
Linking Words
, sedentary
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 of children is the major contributory factor to the
increase
Use synonyms
 in weight of the young ones. With the development of better transport facilities for
commute
Suggestion
a commute
 of children to and from the school, along with more focus on academic activities, physical activities are significantly reduced.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children are spending their leisure time in front of screens on social media and video games and out-door physical activities are significantly reduced.
Secondly
Linking Words
, poor dietary habits are
also
Linking Words
 attributed to obesity. With the growing trend and easy accessibility of fast food and junk food along with excessive intake of carbonated drinks and refined sugars, the BMI has been on the rise
at
Suggestion
of
 a younger age. The solution to
this
Linking Words
 problem lies in
identification
Suggestion
the identification
 and prevention of causative factors.
Life style
Suggestion
Lifestyle
 modification
with
Suggestion
to
increase
Use synonyms
 in physical activity at the school and at home by promoting cycling for commuting to and from the school as well as reduction of screen time
with
Suggestion
to
increase
Use synonyms
 in outdoor games are all
that is
Linking Words
 required.
Similarly
Linking Words
, dietary modification with reduction of refined sugars and introduction of organic food and
increase
Use synonyms
 intake of
fibers
a slender and greatly elongated substance capable of being spun into yarn
fibre
 will definitely have
significant effect
Suggestion
a significant effect
 on BMI reduction. To conclude, I would say that l
increase
Use synonyms
 in physical activity and healthy eating is the key to the solution of
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Submitted by shafqat on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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