Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community do you agree or disagree?

 It
is generally Believed
Suggestion
is generally believed
has generally been believed
by many people that criminals shall be kept in jail. I firmly agree with
this
statement. It will be
beneficial not only the
Suggestion
beneficial not only to the
society but
Accept comma addition
society, but
also
for saving the states valuable money
(
Accept space
(
36 words)  There are
variety
Suggestion
a variety
of reasons why I would argue that unpaid work in
local community
Suggestion
the local community
local communities
would be positive
idea
Suggestion
ideal
(
Accept space
(
Thought)
first
come
Accept comma addition
come, first
first
prisoners shall learn something new they could develop new skills
such
as a plumbing, furniture, gardening and while they perform in person equips inmate with
skills
Suggestion
the skills
and experience necessary to gain and maintain employment after they are released so
this
can be beneficial for the states as well.(
This
may lead to promotion and successful career)
Moreover
, selflessly
(
Accept space
(
unpaid) Working for community helps to make criminals a productive member of
society
,
for
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
jail they
Accept comma addition
jail, they
could get trained for work and because of that activity prisoners shall help
society
to gain some particular knowledge. (109) •
Furethermore
in addition
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
when they do unpaid for the country (community) it strengthens the economy of the nation.
for
Suggestion
For
example, they may help
elder
advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)
older
people in various tasks in old age homes and exchange their thoughts with them and
also
the government
also
hire them as an employee in factories as
worker
Suggestion
a worker
workers
.
However it
Accept comma addition
However, it
may have inappropriate results, as offenders may
disguide
an outward semblance that misrepresents the true nature of something
disguise
the younger the younger ones, it may lead to disaster so as to prevent
this
catastrophe effect, past records of criminals must be evaluated. • To sum up, for the reasons mentioned above it seems to me that necessary to give to culprit to improve their ability and become a fine person I think it will make healthy and well
society
for everyone.
Submitted by darshanlakhlani93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • incarceration
  • non-violent crimes
  • overcrowding
  • reoffending rates
  • judicial discretion
  • alternative punishments
  • public funds
  • community service
  • petty theft
  • vandalism
  • punitive measures
  • social reintegration
  • deterrence
  • minor offenses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: