Some people think that government is wasting money on arts, it can spend the money on elsewhere

#people #government #money #arts

Nowadays, in every developed

country there

Accept comma addition

country, there

a quite

number

Suggestion

a number

of museums have been

build

Suggestion

built

However

, it is thought by many that

goverment

Suggestion

the government

government

disusing

to consider or examine in speech or writing

discussing

money on arts s,

such

as sculpture and paints.

However

, while I believe that art is mainly beneficial to individuals as well as society, I agree that

this

kind of development has some disadvantages. On the one hand, there are clear advantages to spending money on

arts

Suggestion

the arts

. One significant benefit is that art contribute to develop people knowledge in the history of the country.

However

on the other hand

, there are definite disadvantages to spending money on

arts

Suggestion

the arts

. One important drawback is that some kind of arts it's just a waste of

people

Suggestion

peoples'

time especially

Accept comma addition

time, especially

their leisure time, where some people love to spend most of their time looking around inside museums. Because some painters they don't have a good eye and they just paint for fun with no main aim of the drawing,

moreover

, some people describe nothing, it is just a balance or contrast of

colorurs

a flag that shows its nationality

colours

In other words

, many

painting

Suggestion

paintings

or sculptures contribute nothing to people knowledge.

Submitted by sara.malas1213 on Sun Jul 21 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

184 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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Some people think that government is wasting money on arts, it can spend the money on elsewhere

Fully explain your ideas

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy in many countries. Using of other sources like solar power are encouraged.

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Some People believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while other believe that there are alternative way to decrease crime. Discuss both view and give your opinion.