some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend else where. to what extend do you agree with this view.

#people #government #money #arts

leaders

Suggestion

Leaders

paying attention to arts and value it could never be a negative

poin

a geometric element that has position but no extension

point

pain

phone

under any

cercumstands

a condition that accompanies or influences some event or activity

circumstance

circumstances

however there

Accept comma addition

However, there

However there

might be some other important issue in the country,

such

helth

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

heath

care, education, housing and some other

crusial

of extreme importance; vital to the resolution of a crisis

crucial

subjects but

Accept comma addition

subjects, but

not paying attention to the art is just going to be another serious problem in the near future.

speacially

Suggestion

Especially

Specially

Speacially

for children who are going to rule the country in a short period of time in the future.

when

Suggestion

When

children get to learn any different form of

atr

after a negative statement used as an intensive meaning something like 'likewise' or 'also'

either

they're going to be more delicate people in everyday life so they're going to be better managers and better leaders and that's what a great

society

need.

Suggestion

the other hand not spending time and money for arts and not let our children

to get

Suggestion

get

art's

Suggestion

art

classes make our

society

rogh

having or caused by an irregular surface

rough

one in the future. A

comunity

a group of people living in a particular local area

community

with no

sence

a general conscious awareness

sense

of art is just like a big army camp in that people

don't spread

Suggestion

doesn't spread

love and just try to do their jobs

correcly

in an accurate manner

correctly

. So is that we are looking for?

ofcourse

Suggestion

Of course

Ofcourse

can not

cannot

be the ideal place

for

Suggestion

live that we all are

acpected

generally approved or compelling recognition

accepted

expected

Suggestion

the way I

belive

accept as true; take to be true

believe

the more we spend money in arts the better place to live our country will be. It is crystal clear that you can not see the

resuls

a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon

results

in a short

time but

Accept comma addition

time, but

after a couple of decades when the

blossome

reproductive organ of angiosperm plants especially one having showy or colorful parts

blossom

blossoms

of tender people is

flowreshed

Suggestion

flourishing

flourished

in the

society

everyone will enjoy living in that place.

Suggestion

the

end I

Accept comma addition

end, I

should

emphesis

give extra weight to (a communication)

emphasise

emphasize

emphasis

not only

spendeing

the act of spending or disbursing money

spending

money on

arts

Suggestion

the arts

necessary but

Accept comma addition

necessary, but

also

it is one of the most

relyable

worthy of reliance or trust

reliable

reliably

ways to take a

counrty

a politically organized body of people under a single government

country

to the best possible level of mental health in the

society

. I hope everyone

pay

Suggestion

pays

more attention

about

Suggestion

this

issue.

Submitted by arminaghaei11 on Mon Jul 22 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

302 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

enriching society
promoting cultural understanding
development of talent
creative industries
economic benefits
generate revenue
cultural heritage
identity
prioritize spending
needs of the majority

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some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spend else where. to what extend do you agree with this view.

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In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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At the present time,the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults,compared with the number of older people Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.