IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the types of transport used by tourists who visited New Zealand from five countries in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#transport #tourists #zealand #five #countries #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The provided column graph reveals a comparative study regarding the visitors who came from five nations
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 the various transportation modes for travelling to New
Zeland
Correct your spelling
Zealand
show examples
 in 2004.
Unit
Add an article
The unit
show examples
 was measured in percentage.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that
Japanese
Correct article usage
the Japanese
show examples
 travelled mostly by
car
.
Whilist
Correct your spelling
Whilst
While
, the other visitors preferred the
car
 the most. Now, turning to the statistics, the highest number of
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 tourists travelled by
car
 which was 60% among the other tourists, and around 36%
Change preposition
of british
show examples
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 people preferred air and ferry for travelling.
Whereas
, the number of
british
Change the capitalization
British
show examples
 and german visitors was about 19%. The approximately 52%
german
Change preposition
of german
show examples
 used
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
,
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
higher than
ferry
Fix the agreement mistake
ferries
show examples
 by 4%.
However
,
this
 ratio was almost half in air transportation and coach was used by 20% german. There was seen a
decrease
Change the verb form
decreasing
show examples
 trend in air and coach
transportationn
Correct your spelling
transportation
 in
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of
Japanese
, Korean and Australian. Now moving towards the remaining information, the number of
Japanese
 and Korean tourists was the least which accounted for around 10% and in
car
 transportation,
Correct article usage
a fluactuation
show examples
fluactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
 trend was observed in
Japanese
Replace the word
Japan
show examples
,
Korean
Correct your spelling
Korea
show examples
 and
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australia
show examples
.
Submitted by gperipatel1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, car with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: