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Band 5.5

Not Enough people realise the importance of natural world. What is the reason for people's lack of awarness? how can people be made more aware?

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Not Enough people realise the importance of
natural world
Suggestion
the natural world
. What is the reason for people's lack of
awarness
having knowledge of
awareness
?
how
Suggestion
How
 can people be made more aware? Most of the people are ignorant of the value of Mother Nature. Why are people blinded to
this
 information? What can be done to spread awareness? In my essay will elaborate more on these issues.
Firstly
, Nowadays, It is uncommon to know the significance of
earth
 and its living beings. Due to the fact, that
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of the human population is concentrated in specific areas of the world.
As a result
, they live in large metropolitan cities which have little or no wilderness.
This
 absence of natural environment causes the people to understand less about the
earth
.
For example
, China is a very densely populated country, they have cut a lot of their rain forests
thus
, forcing the animals to migrate
elsewere
in or to another place
elsewhere
.
Consequently, and they
Suggestion
And consequently, they
And, consequently, they
 have little awareness
on
Suggestion
of
 the natural beauty of the
earth
.
Additionally
, something must be done to make people know more about the nature and its worth. Campaigns on our eco-system will be a good step towards spreading knowledge on the
earth
’s environment. Posters on popular public places will catch the attention of bystanders and walkers.
Furthermore
, TV commercials can help promote
this
 in a better way.
For instance
, New Zealand made a successful campaign
last
 year on preserving the natural resources of
earth
. A lot of people with their families participated in
this
 campaign and they learned a lot with kids games. In conclusion, more should be done to educate the humans on the value of nature and the living things that wander the
earth
. Preserve the nature to the full extent for the
next
 generation to come.
Submitted by Faisal on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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