IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that the Olympics Games do not have a role in the 21st Century. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #olympics #games #role #st #century
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Olympic games have played its vital role in its own way in recent times, even in today's century where the problems between two countries has increased the Olympic games makes the several countries to come at one place and play for the
country
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 global era, where the technology and usage of gadget has increased up to an extreme level so,
firstly
Linking Words
 it helps us to gather our family members to go out and watch the sports and spend time with each other as because people nowadays do not have any time to sit and talk with each other as they are mainly busy in their own work because of their tight schedule.
Secondly
Linking Words
, due to Olympic games the communication between the countries increases, which leads to less intake of war. While watching
sports children
Suggestion
sports, children
 can
increases
Suggestion
increase
 their knowledge about the new sports, about the equipments used in that sport and
also
Linking Words
 be able to find new things about the player's playing and their countries.
Likewise
Linking Words
, it benefits most to the
country
Use synonyms
 in which the
olympic
of or relating to the Olympic Games
Olympic
 games
is being played
Suggestion
are being played
 after every four years.It helps to increase the financial status of the economy
country
Use synonyms
.Since, it helps
host
Suggestion
the host country's economy
host country's economy
country
Use synonyms
 economy by tourism of players and tourists. In
counclusion
a position or opinion or judgment reached after consideration
conclusion
conclusions
consolation
, I tend to believe that,
olympic
of or relating to the Olympic Games
Olympic
 games can provide all the things which
can not
can not
cannot
 be seen neither in any gadget nor through technology and
also
Linking Words
olympic
of or relating to the Olympic Games
Olympic
 is a perfect place to interact socially with people from their hectic schedules, as a
resultno
Suggestion
result no
 body can say no to
such
Linking Words
facinating
capable of arousing and holding the attention
fascinating
 games.
Submitted by arzumaster14 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: