IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environment problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles #environment
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Increased
use
Use synonyms
 of
fuel
Use synonyms
 and its role global warming and the
green house
a building with glass walls and roof; for the cultivation and exhibition of plants under controlled conditions
greenhouse
 phenomenon has long been proven. Recently, more and more people have advocated toward increasing costs of
fuel
Use synonyms
 in an
attemt
make an effort or attempt
attempt
 to solve
this
Linking Words
 critical problem.
Although
Linking Words
 it is a
wondeful
extraordinarily good or great; used especially as an intensifier
wonderful
 if we are interested in protecting our planet, I do not fully agree it will solve
this
Linking Words
 problem. By increasing the financial burden on cars that utilize
fuel
Use synonyms
, other less hazardous ways of transportation become more cost effective and may convince people to
use
Use synonyms
 them.
For example
Linking Words
, When driving to work with a private car will cost 20% more than using the
electrical
Suggestion
electric
 train, more and more people will
use
Use synonyms
 it.
This
Linking Words
 has been shown repeatedly in many countries
such
Linking Words
 as
Canda
a nation in northern North America; the French were the first Europeans to settle in mainland Canada
Canada
, Israel and France.
Also
Linking Words
, a recent publication from the Jerusalem University has shown that when
fuel
Use synonyms
 prices increase, car pooling become much more common in
comparisson
the act of examining resemblances
comparison
 to other countries leading to reduced pollution and protecting our environment.
Although
Linking Words
 I truly believe
fuel
Use synonyms
 prices should be raised in order to save our planet, I do not think it will solve the problem
becuase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 other parameters need be addressed at the same time in order to reach our goal. As an example, as long as public transportation is not accessible, people will not
use
Use synonyms
 it. In Germany,
for example
Linking Words
, despite the high gas prices people are still not using the trains because their stations are located 20 minutes walk from the residential areas. If train stations will become accessible more people will
use
Use synonyms
 it on their way to work. In conclusion, I believe
that that increasing the
Suggestion
that increasing the
 costs of
gasolin
Suggestion
gasoline
 may lead to reduced usage of
cars
Accept comma addition
cars, however
however
Linking Words
, in order to achieve the required change other
paramaters
a constant in the equation of a curve that can be varied to yield a family of similar curves
parameters
 should be
also
Linking Words
 addressed.
Submitted by chilafp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental problems
  • increase the cost of fuel
  • cars and other vehicles
  • solve
  • to what extent
  • agree or disagree
  • discourage
  • lead to
  • reduction
  • carbon emissions
  • encourage
  • public transportation
  • traffic congestion
  • additional revenue
  • eco-friendly
  • technologies
  • infrastructure
  • disproportionately
  • low-income individuals
  • alternative solutions
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • considered
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • importance
What to do next:
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