Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sports #violence #arts #tv #competitions

These few decades have seen an upsurge in the popularity of violent sports

such

as boxing, martial arts… which has caused a lot of arguments among the society. From my point of view, I

wholehearted

Suggestion

wholeheartedly

believe that the idea of imposing a ban on

this

genre of sports should take effect as soon as possible due to its potential benefits.

First

and foremost,

this

policy will definitely make an enormous contribution to the cognitive development of human beings especially children accompanied by juvenility. When these rough sports have a wide coverage on many TV channels and international competitions, people will be negatively exerted on the grounds that they are easily obsessed with these actions and likely to idolize along with

emulate

Suggestion

emulating

the fighters.

This

will lead to an alarming rate of

offender especially

Accept comma addition

offender, especially

young felonies as well as a significant intensifying in social evils. Another noteworthy point is that people have to suffer from the high risks of not only health problems and

injuries but

Accept comma addition

injuries, but

also

demise if they

are exposed themselves to

Suggestion

themselves are exposed to

these brutal sports.

For instance

, in boxing, players are forced to take powerful blows with the aim of knocking out his opponent and winning the game, which makes them find it much easier to get injured, disabled or even dead after the match.

As a result

, there is a likelihood is that they may have to struggle with more health problems than others when they get older and retire. To sum up, I totally claim that there should be a veto on these violent sports in both TV programs and cross-border contests.

Submitted by surekhak458 on Tue Jul 23 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

combat sports
glorification of violence
impressionable audiences
cultural heritage
self-discipline
sportsmanship
media portrayal
regulatory measures
censorship
psychological impact
broadcasting regulations
watershed timing
advocates and opponents
ethical considerations
economic implications

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Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and preparatory methods.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own