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Band 5.5

Some people do not allow their children to participate in games, sports or competitions unless everone gets a prize. Other think that children must lear to deal with winning and losing in order to be fully prepared for life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #games #sports #competitions #everone #prize #lear #life
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Competition plays an integral part in the
life
 of every person, whether in school, workplace, and believe it or not, it is
also
 exists within the family circle.
Although
 some parents shield their offspring from the harsh reality of inferiority, some have argued that experiencing defeat will help them to become emotionally and socially strong. In the following paragraph, both views will be discussed in details and at the same time show my stand. As to the idea that children should not be engaged in any kind of contest unless everybody will be compensated, their primary reason would be to prevent the fragile feelings of their youngsters from breaking. As they are still in their early stage of
life
, an ounce of disappointment could easily shatter their hearts which could cause emotional stress and hatred so as a protective
parents
Suggestion
parent
, they would do anything to prevent
this
 from happening.
In contrast
, there are a percentage of people that believe that accepting defeat should be taught at an early age. The most common reason for
this
 view is that all parents
knows
Suggestion
know
 that
life
 ahead is full of negative circumstances, unless their children has been equipped with the lessons of the ups and downs of
life
 itself, they wouldn’t surpass the trials of an adult
life
. In conclusion, parents cannot be blamed in protecting their off springs from the bad experience of losing as they are only doing what is best for them.
Nevertheless
, parents should
also
 teach their children the reality of
life
 by pushing them to compete regardless of the result as
this
 will definitely mould them to become strong individuals to surpass any situations that
life
 can throw at them.
Submitted by homegav520340 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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