The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government

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Owing to the deteriorating

healthy

Suggestion

health

state of people in the country, it has been suggested that

government

Use synonyms

funding should consider the avoidance of health issues and diseases as it is crucial to the cure and remedy.

However

Linking Words

, in my opinion, I strongly agree that the prevention of health challenges and sicknesses should be taken into consideration in

Use synonyms

government's budget

Suggestion

the government's budget

this

Linking Words

will mitigate the occurrence of different ailments and diseases that befall people.

Firstly

Linking Words

, there is

popular

Suggestion

a popular

saying that says "Prevention is better than cure". So many ailments that affect individuals could have been avoided if proper care has been taken at an early stage.

For instance

Linking Words

, care against cancer, AIDS, diabetes and some other terminal diseases could have been made through proper orientation, medical awareness and outreaches organised by the

government

Use synonyms

to educate people about healthy living, the

dos'

a measured portion of medicine taken at any one time

dose

and

donts'

do not

don't

to avoid

Suggestion

avoid

these diseases and the actions to be taken should the symptoms of

such

Linking Words

diseases occur. In the

absent

Suggestion

absence

, of these medical outreaches, diseases that could have been avoided would be full blown and result in spending

alot

Suggestion

a lot

of money to cure it completely. Another point to consider is that,

government

Use synonyms

funds that could have been used in procuring large medical equipment

such

Linking Words

as X-ray machines,

Chemotheraphy

Suggestion

Chemotherapy

Equipment amongst many others to treat terminal diseases should they occur could be diverted to some other sectors of the economy that would be beneficial to the people. In conclusion, I believe it is reasonable for

Use synonyms

government

Suggestion

the government

governments

to plan alongside their budget the funds that will be needed to prevent health issues as

this

Linking Words

helps to circumvent the occurrence of avoidable diseases and sicknesses.

Submitted by olayemioludamilola on Wed Jul 24 2019

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

It is better to learn the way people lived in past through films and videos records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Many people today are worried about cyber crime such as hacking and identity theft. What problems does cyber crime cause andd what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

Describe a time when you talked to a group of people.