The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #health #illness #treatment #medicine #government

Owing to the deteriorating

healthy

Suggestion

health

state of people in the country, it has been suggested that

government

funding should consider the avoidance of health issues and diseases as it is crucial to the cure and remedy.

However

, in my opinion, I strongly agree that the prevention of health challenges and sicknesses should be taken into consideration in

government's budget

Suggestion

the government's budget

this

will mitigate the occurrence of different ailments and diseases that befall people.

Firstly

, there is

popular

Suggestion

a popular

saying that says "Prevention is better than cure". So many ailments that affect individuals could have been avoided if proper care has been taken at an early stage.

For instance

, care against cancer, AIDS, diabetes and some other terminal diseases could have been made through proper orientation, medical awareness and outreaches organised by the

government

to educate people about healthy living, the

dos'

a measured portion of medicine taken at any one time

dose

and

donts'

do not

don't

to avoid

Suggestion

avoid

these diseases and the actions to be taken should the symptoms of

such

diseases occur. In the

absent

Suggestion

absence

, of these medical outreaches, diseases that could have been avoided would be full blown and result in spending

alot

Suggestion

a lot

of money to cure it completely. Another point to consider is that,

government

funds that could have been used in procuring large medical equipment

such

as X-ray machines,

Chemotheraphy

Suggestion

Chemotherapy

Equipment amongst many others to treat terminal diseases should they occur could be diverted to some other sectors of the economy that would be beneficial to the people. In conclusion, I believe it is reasonable for

government

Suggestion

the government

governments

to plan alongside their budget the funds that will be needed to prevent health issues as

this

helps to circumvent the occurrence of avoidable diseases and sicknesses.

Submitted by olayemioludamilola on Wed Jul 24 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The prevention of health problems and illness is more important than treatment and medicine. Government funding should reflect this. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to success academically.as a result some people believe that non academic subjects such as physical education and cookery should be removed from the school syllabus so that children concentrate on academic work

Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoo and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

Most employers do job interviews before offering a position to a person. Do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? What is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?

Nowadays, children play less with others and this has an impart on their development. What are the reasons for this? Does it have a good or a bad effect on children?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'on ebig traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is ? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?