The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system, in an effort to deal with the health issues involved some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

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Owing to the problems which a growing population of obese people

cause

Suggestion

causes

for

Suggestion

the

health

Use synonyms

care system, it is thought by some people that sports and exercises should be included in the

school

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curriculum as

this

Linking Words

is one of the keys to solving the posing

health

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challenges. In my opinion, I completely agree that the introduction of physical and

health

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education will help to tackle the issues of deteriorating

health

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conditions in relation to overweight.

Firstly

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, dealing with the issues of obesity and

over weight

usually describes a large person who is fat but has a large frame to carry it

overweight

people is best tackled using a long term approach of introducing more sports and

exercsies

the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit

exercise

exercises

school

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

approach will ensure that the

Linking Words

generation is more healthy and will not have to suffer from

such

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

problems. At the moment, the average

school

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students only get to exercise once or twice a

week which

Accept comma addition

week, which

is not enough to counteract their sedentary lifestyle.

However

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, by incorporating sport classes/lessons in schools and encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will unconsciously get used to exercising often and

hence

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, becomes fitter and more active. Another point to consider is that having more sports classes in schools will

results

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result

in students being interested in sporting activities and

this

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inturn

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in turn

will filter through their family members and incorporate a long

lasting lasting

continuing or enduring without marked change in status or condition or place

lasting

effects

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effect

In other words

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, parents of

school

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students involved in physical activities

also

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grow interest to partake in it as a way of encouraging their children and

this

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will definitely result in

Suggestion

healthy family and community at large. In conclusion, the most effective method to reduce or erase completely overweight problems among individuals is the introduction of exercises and sports of various kinds in schools.

Submitted by olayemioludamilola on Wed Jul 24 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, as cities grow, more money is spent on the urban transport system and little is spent on the rural ones. What are the problems creating it? What are the solutions to these problems?

Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

Many people are doing their shopping on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

Nowadays artificial intelligence is being used to drive cars. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?