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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people
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Television is a profound information and communication platform.
However
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, addictive watching of programs on
TV
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 can make people lethargic and consume important part of their
time
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.
This
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 essay will confer that excessive watching of
TV
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 forces viewers to spend less
time
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 on important tasks and
also
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 makes them obese.
Time
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 is an important finite resource for individuals and it should be spent judiciously. Despite knowing
this
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, many people spend excessive
time
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 watching series on
TV
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.
For example
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,
instead
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 of spending
time
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 with their loved ones or to focus on their studies, many students spend their valuable
time
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 on watching their favourite crime dramas.
This
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 forces adults to spend less
time
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 on essential activities in their lives.
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Thus execessive
Accept comma addition
Thus, excessive
Thus excessive
TV
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 viewing hinders the social and professional lives of viewers. Sedentary watching
of
Suggestion
on
TV
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 for hours makes people couch potatoes and
also
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 obese.
Such
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 a bad habit leads to
cardio vascular
of or pertaining to or involving the heart and blood vessels
cardiovascular
 diseases and other lifestyle problems. A study by
medical association
Suggestion
the medical association
medical associations
 of India has concluded that children who watch electronic devices more than 3 hours a day, are approximately 40% more obese than their counterparts who doesn't watch these gadgets.
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Thus excessive
Accept comma addition
Thus, excessive
 watching
of
Suggestion
on
TV
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 is
also
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deterimental
(sometimes followed by 'to') causing harm or injury
detrimental
 to health. Electronic mediums like
TV
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 continue to be an important mode of entertainment. While there are few benefits of
TV
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, watching television beyond control impacts the social life and
also
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 leads to lifestyle
dieseases
an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning
diseases
disease
. To sum it up, I hope that people control their
TV
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 viewing and spend their
time
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 on more productive activities.
Submitted by Siva on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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