Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #free-time #people

Television is a profound information and communication platform.

However

, addictive watching of programs on

can make people lethargic and consume important part of their

time

This

essay will confer that excessive watching of

forces viewers to spend less

time

on important tasks and

also

makes them obese.

Time

is an important finite resource for individuals and it should be spent judiciously. Despite knowing

this

, many people spend excessive

time

watching series on

For example

instead

of spending

time

with their loved ones or to focus on their studies, many students spend their valuable

time

on watching their favourite crime dramas.

This

forces adults to spend less

time

on essential activities in their lives.

Thus execessive

Accept comma addition

Thus, excessive

Thus excessive

viewing hinders the social and professional lives of viewers. Sedentary watching

Suggestion

for hours makes people couch potatoes and

also

obese.

Such

a bad habit leads to

cardio vascular

of or pertaining to or involving the heart and blood vessels

cardiovascular

diseases and other lifestyle problems. A study by

medical association

Suggestion

the medical association

medical associations

of India has concluded that children who watch electronic devices more than 3 hours a day, are approximately 40% more obese than their counterparts who doesn't watch these gadgets.

Thus excessive

Accept comma addition

Thus, excessive

watching

Suggestion

also

deterimental

(sometimes followed by 'to') causing harm or injury

detrimental

to health. Electronic mediums like

continue to be an important mode of entertainment. While there are few benefits of

, watching television beyond control impacts the social life and

also

leads to lifestyle

dieseases

an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

diseases

disease

. To sum it up, I hope that people control their

viewing and spend their

time

on more productive activities.

Submitted by Siva on Thu Jul 25 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting the usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

what can the authorities and people living in city do to solve noise pollution ?

Some countries have high unemployment rate, so some people think that children should only go to primary school, not high school because they won't find a job later. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

All over the world, people watch foreign films much more than locally produced films. Why? Should the government provide financial support to local industries?