IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Topic: Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#topic #people #men #women
There is no doubt that competition is a normal phenomenon for survival. A few people believe that males tend to compete more easily than females.
This
 essay will explain why I strongly hold a contrary opinion.
To begin
 with, Most women are characteristically envious of anyone, man or woman, who seem to be better than they perceive themselves to be.
As a result
, they strive to always be a step ahead of their contemporaries.
For example
,
light
Suggestion
lighter
 skinned ladies are envied by a lot of dark skinned women, which has made skin bleaching so popular in societies where most of their
woman
Suggestion
women
 are black. Reports have
also
 shown that women size up other women at events, public places, and even within families, leading them to want to hike their personality, behaviour, body features and even gears.
Secondly
, It is important to consider the stereotype, that Women are weaker vessels, with regards to men. They allotted the
second
 place in the society, denied some particular types of jobs and in some communities, they are not allowed to speak when men talk.
This
 has led to so many women coming together to agree to prove the society wrong. So, when women are given some positions to run, they deal with it with so much aggressiveness and a determination not to fail.
This
 makes females naturally more ambitious.
For instance
, most women who work in male dominated occupations
such
 as construction, farming, mechanics, etc., tend to have more zeal than the men. In conclusion, women, due to their
generally
Suggestion
general
 jealous nature, coupled with the desire to contradict the believe that they are lesser than men, tend to be more highly in rivalry as compared to men.
Submitted by Hope on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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