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Band 4

Some people think that people who are over 60 years old should not work and should be made to retire. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #years #work
When people are 60 years old, they should not continue working.
Instead
, they should take retirement. I will partly agree with
this
 view.
First
 and foremost, there should be a limit of working for people who are over 60 years old. It is scientifically proven that when employees reach an old age, they might face many health issues, including stress sleeplessness and headache. As a consequence, these issues unable them to work expeditiously and they cannot contribute to their company's economic development.
Therefore
, over 60 years old workers should be made to retire.
On the other hand
, people should keep working when they reach 60 age.
This
 is because, they play an important role in
government's economic side
Suggestion
the government's economic side
 and they may become useful in our society.
In addition
, It is
fact
Suggestion
the fact
 that 60 years old individuals are considered as experienced
.
Accept space
.
 It is evident that they have worked on their own occupations for many years. If they provide their knowledge and experiences with young people, there will be a high influence of
old
Suggestion
older
 workers
on
Suggestion
in
with
company's development
Suggestion
the company's development
. To sum up, It is presumed that people who reach 60 age should stop their careers and be made to retire. The reason why they should not work is that they have some health problems
Submitted by juraevfiruz745 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory retirement
  • workforce
  • innovation
  • retirement
  • well-being
  • experience
  • wisdom
  • discrimination
  • ageism
  • financial stability
  • flexible working arrangements
  • part-time work
  • consultant roles
  • mentorship programs
  • balanced view
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