Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Human beings are born to enjoy

life

apart from work and die eventually. Some individuals are of the opinion that since the average age of people has increased and they tend to live for a long duration the retirement age at the workplace should be increased. I,

however

, disagree

Suggestion

with

the suggested view.

To begin

, mankind has been brought into

this

world with a certain set of duties. There are different stages in

life

Accept comma addition

life, for

for example

: childhood, adulthood, and old age. Every stage has a finite set of responsibilities like as

children we

Accept comma addition

children, we

attend school; during adolescence we head to college, and

finally

begin to earn our income to fend for ourselves. The middle stage of a person’s

life

is when he toils until the day he has been released from his duties. In

short he

Accept comma addition

short, he

is considered to be a senior citizen.

However

, the growth of medicine and research today has facilitated the longevity of living.

This

amazing factor can be used for an older man to concentrate on the time he missed during his youth.

For example

: in so many cases parents had no time for their young ones as they had to work throughout the day, but today as grandparents they can offer

time

objective case of they

them

to their grandchildren. Another example is, that they can concentrate on themselves, their hobbies and their spouses. There are various organizations that schedule fun trips like hiking, gardening and pottery, which can be taken up as a recreational activity.

On the contrary

, some just love their job and would love to continue till they no longer can sustain themselves. In

such

a case it would be quite a bright idea to extend the timeline of the working class. In conclusion,

although

it works for a few I believe that our birth is not just for work but to enjoy the beauty of

life

Submitted by Rufina on Fri Jul 26 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. Do you agree?

You have recently moved to a different city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - Explain why you decided to move to a different city -Describe the new city and accommodation -Ask your friend to arrange a visit

Some people believe that watching television is bad for children. Other people believe that it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowdays in many countries the proportion of older population is higher than that of younger people. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people feel that public money should not be spent on cultural amenities such as museums, theatres and art festivals. How important do you think these things are to society as a whole? Are there any areas which are more important for the governments to fund?