IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Music is considered to be a way to connect people from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

Music
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 can be regarded as a universal language that
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act
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acts
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 to be a
media
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medium
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 to communicate between
people
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 from various cultures and age groups. In
this
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 passage, the different points of view
is
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are
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 discussed. For
people
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 coming from different places and countries, it is often difficult to communicate verbally without a common language. There is an observation that
music
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 can
act
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 as a common
media
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medium
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 for communication between these
people
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. It is considered
as
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apply
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an
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a
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 universal language in which
people
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 can share among themselves. It is
also
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 true between different age groups. Young
people
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 can have a good time with their senior family members listening to classical or old Jazz
music
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,
while
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 some elderly
people
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 enjoy rock
music
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 with their grandchildren. In
this
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way
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way,
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music
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act
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acts
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 magically in making inter-cultural and
inter-generation
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inter-generational
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 connections.
On the other hand
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, for some
instances
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instances,
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music
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 may not be easily appreciated by the general public. For
examples
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example
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some
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, some
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 specific cultural
music
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 like
chinese
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Chinese
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 operas,
hindu
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Hindu
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 songs, and tunes from high-mountain
people
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 in
Himalayas
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the Himalayas
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. As for
music
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 among different age
groups
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groups,
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 it is known to be very diverse, from the elderly's
favourate
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favourite
 oldies of traditional classical
music
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 to hard-rock contemporary
music
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 for the teenagers. It is hard for a classical
music
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 lover to appreciate the tunes from rock-star performances. It can be said that
music
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 is very much up to personal tastes and interests.
To conclude
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,
music
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 can
act
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a
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as a
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common
media
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medium
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 to connect
people
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 from different cultures and ages,
this
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 is true for general easily-listening
music
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.
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However
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However,
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 the same may not be applied to specific cultural
music
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.

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task-response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph. Say if you agree or partly agree from the start.
coherence
Use a few linking words to show how ideas are connected.
coherence
Give more proof for your points. Use simple examples of music that show how people meet.
language
Check grammar. Use short, clear sentences to avoid mistakes.
idea
The idea that music can connect people of different ages and cultures is clear.
example
Examples such as classical, jazz, and rock are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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