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Writing Samples
Band 7

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. Other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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It is considered by some that being a
university
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 graduate is the key to securing a good
job
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,
while
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 others believe it is better to have
experience
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 and soft
skills
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. In my opinion, having a
university
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education
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 is essential for academic jobs,
whereas
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 soft
skills
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 and
experience
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 are more useful in business. On the one hand, many people think finding a good
job
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 is easier if they have a graduate degree, as tertiary
education
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 puts people one step ahead of others. For many employers,
this
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 can be the deciding factor between
job
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 applicants.
Furthermore
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, a certain level of
university
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education
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 is required for particular jobs,
such
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 as being a doctor or teacher.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that in the case of jobs that require academic knowledge, having a tertiary
education
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 is the key to success.
On the other hand
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, having work
experience
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 and soft
skills
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,
such
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 as leadership and other interpersonal abilities, can equally tip the balance in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the
job
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 applicant. For someone who is applying for management positions and has
experience
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 in managing a team,
along with
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 strong interpersonal
skills
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 to support and direct staff,
experience
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 and soft
skills
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 are critical. Business is another area of work where
experience
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 places a person ahead of the competition in a way that
university
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education
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 cannot.
Consequently
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, I believe that
such
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skills
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 hold a relevant place in the workplace.
To sum up
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, getting a good
job
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 requires a relevant background either in
experience
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 or
education
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, depending on the type of work and field. Some positions require an academic background;
however
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, others benefit more from
experience
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 and
skills
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.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the task, but providing more specific examples in support of each viewpoint could strengthen your argument. Consider including real-world scenarios to illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Focus on further refining the logical structure of your essay. Ensure clear distinctions in your arguments and seamless transitions between ideas to enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
A well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly outline and summarize your position on the topic.
task achievement
Comprehensive ideas are conveyed effectively, and the main arguments are supported adequately.
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