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Writing Samples
Band 5

People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are the effects of this?

#people #food #effects
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People consume more refined meals than they did many years ago.
This
Linking Words
 is because they lack the
time
Use synonyms
 to cook homemade dishes and
this
Linking Words
 could result
to
Suggestion
in
 excessive weight gain. People tend to eat more processed foods these days than they did in the past because they lack
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare food at home. Workers are required to resume earlier than they used to because of the competition in the job market
.
Accept space
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they need to work longer hours to meet with the demands of the job,
thus
Linking Words
, depriving them from eating home food. Factory employees,
for example
Linking Words
, in Nigeria, work up to 16 hours a day with limited
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves.
Hence
Linking Words
, they result to 'can' foods, which are unhealthy, but
this
Linking Words
 was not so in the 1960s. The primary effect of eating refined meals is excessive weight gain. One becomes excessively overweight, which could lead to obesity. Processed food contains refined
sugar which
Accept comma addition
sugar, which
 if eaten on a regular basis, stores in the body as fat and poses grave danger to the general health and
wellbeing
Suggestion
well being
 of a person.
Moreover
Linking Words
, It could block the blood
vessels preventing
Accept comma addition
vessels, preventing
 free flow of blood, which could be problematic in the long run. A study carried out in the United States of America in 2015, revealed that about 80 percent of the
populise
people in general considered as a whole
populace
populous
pupils
are
Suggestion
is
obesed
excessively fat
obese
 because they eat more refined meals now than they did in the past. In conclusion, people are eating more processed foods than in the previous generation due to lack of
time
Use synonyms
 to cook
home-made
made or produced in the home or by yourself
homemade
 meals and the effect is that many are excessively overweight leading to obesity.
Submitted by Florence on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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