Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?

#children #computers #entertainment #sports #part #pastimes #indoors

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Nowadays children are too addicted

Suggestion

gadgets like computers and electronic entertainment,

therefore

Linking Words

, playing

outdoors sports

Accept comma addition

outdoors, sports

and being involved in more traditional pastimes are better than engaging these indoor games all the time. In my opinion, I believe that it is more beneficial for children to expose to different kind of outside sports and

this

Linking Words

would have an impact to their interpersonal social skills as well.

Firstly

Linking Words

, young people who are always playing sports outside are definite that these physical activities

makes

Suggestion

make

them strong and healthy. A good example to illustrate

this

Linking Words

idea is that when children play the games like football, basketball or cricket these would

entails

Suggestion

entail

too much of energy and make their muscles are

Suggestion

a training mode.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, being sports minded

this

Linking Words

would motivate you to being active and always be fit.

Secondly

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, for the kids who are taking part in more traditional pastimes are the one who has developed camaraderie, interpersonal relationships etc.

This

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would train them in learning the art of teamwork, develop skills vital for competitions and nourish their leadership qualities.

Moreover

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, these skills will be a good foundation for the children that undoubtedly it would apply later in their career life.

Finally

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, being active that starts in a young age

Suggestion

are

more beneficial to their health like control the weight, reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, and reduce the risk of developing health conditions

such

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as heart disease, cancer etc. In conclusion, children should always motivate to engage outdoors activities and introduce them the traditional sports that would make them more interest and able to learn the benefits that would

last

Linking Words

for their lifetime if they keep on playing sports.

Submitted by Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree? on Sat Jul 27 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dependent
computers
electronic entertainment
outside
sports
traditional pastimes
excessive
negative impacts
physical health
mental health
promote
overall well-being
play outdoors
read books
socialize
develop
balance
holistic development

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Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people have more jobs at the same time. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Marketing and promotion is the key to a successful business. To what extent do you agree?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Students should pay pull cost for their own study, because universityeducation benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?