Nowadays, people are moving to other countries to seek jobs. Some people think it affects the children of such home negativity while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion

#people #countries #jobs #children #home #negativity

Modern world today, workers from poor countries are relocating to wealthy countries for better prospects.Some think that it can be harmful for children while others consider it is do not.I take the later's view, since I believe going abroad definitely benefit

for

Suggestion

from

child

. On the one hand, supporters of migrants argue that the

child

would be provided with world class education and

also

have an international exposure.

In other words

, while studying in a new

country

, which offers a high-quality education facility and they could meet children from other

culture

that would enrich the student learning experience.Many parents from India,

for example

, migrate to the USA and the UK for better job and life.It is

also

noted that their children are doing really well in studies as well as extracurricular activities.The USA's Spelling bee championship

has won

Suggestion

win

by Indian origin Americans for

last

many

years which

Accept comma addition

years, which

clearly show that how migration benefits children.

On the other hand

, opponents of migration point out that when a

child

removes from one

culture

to another which causes a serious repercussion to the

child

's mental abilities.

Furthermore

, children suddenly loosing his friends and close family members and exposing to unknown

culture

where language, teaching style, food habits are entirely different from what it was in back in

home

Suggestion

the home country

country

This

conversely

, children find difficulty

inhandle

Suggestion

in handle

the

culture

shock they experience there,

moreover

Accept space

this

would create serious mental pressure to a

child

Thus

eventually loss

Accept comma addition

eventually, loss

his focus on studies and spoil his career.

Finally

Accept space

In my opinion, even though there's

are

Suggestion

been

some issues with new

culture

when a

child

relocates a new

country

this

can be effectively tackled by a joint effort of school authority and parents.

This

situation

has been handling

Suggestion

has handled

since many year

Indian

Suggestion

Indians

who

migrate other

Suggestion

migrate to other

migrate into other

countries and it is fruitful. In conclusion, while people are divided into two based

impact

Suggestion

impacts

of migration on a

child

, I completely support going and settlings another

country

as it has many advantages over demerits.

Submitted by sbinspires on Sun Jul 28 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

323 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, people are moving to other countries to seek jobs. Some people think it affects the children of such home negativity while some others think it is beneficial to them. Discuss both sides and state your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

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Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Scientists tell us that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people still continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions for this?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack in basic interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes and suggest possible solution?