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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Employers should give their workers at least one month holiday a year as it makes them to do better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#employers #workers #month #holiday #year #job
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It is perceived by many that, the number of vacation days should be an average 30 days in a year and
this
 may increase the workers’ performance. In my opinion, I completely agree with the above statement and
further
 support my ideas with relevant examples.
First
 and foremost, there a few main reasons why having a full month rest help employees to do better at
work
. Primarily, in today’s hectic world individuals have become extremely busy with their
work
 and they usually stay in their workplace for a long
periods
Suggestion
period
 of time.
This
 could mean that, during office hours they may get
stress
Suggestion
stressed
 and
this
 might have detrimental impacts on their overall well-being.
Therefore
, an adequate rest is critical for recharging their batteries.
Furthermore
, the recent research conducted by The World Health Organization has proven that, 96 percent of new innovative ideas a technological sphere were proposed the specialists who were mentally and physically fit. Even more importantly, if companies provide less holidays to their personnel,
this
 could not only have negative influences on their production process but
also
 the staff’s health.
In other words
, if workers spend most of their time at factories, they may not be able to maintain
right balance
Suggestion
the right balance
 between
work
 and other parts of the life. There is no doubt that,
this
 situation could create arguments
in
Suggestion
with
 family and
this
 psychological condition may lead to various incidents in the workplaces. According to the Economist the principal cause for the fire in Korean Manufacturing Company in 2018 was their employees’
incautiousness
. To recapitulate,
although
 giving long vacations to accomplished workers is a burdensome task for some employers, I strongly believe that, if employees have appropriate holidays,
this
 could help them to show better results at
work
.
Submitted by azizjuraev on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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