Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Band 9 IELTS Essay Sample According to some people regular
use
of computers has more negative than positive impacts on children. I do not agree with
this
view. While I do admit that excessive
use
of computers can harm children in many ways, these gadgets are
also
crucial for their success and
hence
we cannot stop them from using computers. Computers have their downsides. Children can play games and watch movies
on
Suggestion
with
them. Needless to say, it is quite normal for children who
use
the
computer
every day to get addicted to it. If they spend too much time on their
computer
, they will lose their focus on studies and their grades will suffer. Children who
use
the
computer
for long hours are
also
more likely to develop health problems like obesity because of their sedentary lifestyle. Excessive screen time can
also
cause vision problems in children. On the flip side, in
this
day and age when computers are used in all spheres of life, it is foolish to stop children from using them. They need proficiency in computers to be able to find a good job in
future
Suggestion
the future
. Actually, nowadays, they need computers to even score good marks in exams.
Hence
Accept comma addition
Hence, instead
instead
of preventing children from using computers, parents and teachers should encourage moderate
use
. Children should be allowed to
use
the computers for one or two hours at the most. Parents must
also
ensure that children are not wasting time playing games on the
computer
or accessing online content
that is
not suitable for them. If used wisely, computers and the internet help children with their studies. Actually, there are numerous educational websites designed to make learning fun and interactive. To conclude, after analysing both sides of the
argument it
Accept comma addition
argument, it
is not hard to see that moderate
use
of computers has
more beneficial
Suggestion
more benefits
than negative effects on children.
However
, excessive and irresponsible
use
of computers is harmful and
hence
it must be prevented.
Submitted by vtborse on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
Get 60% discount and enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
Instantly see mistakes you've made and learn how to avoid them.