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Band 5.5

Some people think that big international sporting events are not worthwhile for the host country. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #events #host #country
Hosting an international sporting event,
such
 as the European Cup or the Champions League is very exiting. Despite the joy of seeing all the professional athletes in your home country, events like these may potentially benefit the local economy and lead to substantial earnings.
In contrast
, I believe that the financial gain is minimal in
comparisson
the act of examining resemblances
comparison
 to the expenses of
accomodating
helpful in bringing about a harmonious adaptation
accommodating
such
 an event, and it is not worthwhile. Welcoming an international sporting event can be very rewarding as it lead to massive amount of tourists and visitors, and increase the earnings of local
buisnesses
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
businesses
business
such
 as hotels, restaurants and bars. The increased
work load
work that a person is expected to do in a specified time
workload
 on these local
buisnesses
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
businesses
business
 will require more working hands and create new jobs.
Furthermore
, the increased demand will lead to a higher profit among the
buisness
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
 owners which might lead them to invest in new projects. To illustrate, the Champion League final in 2007 was held in Birmingham U.K, which lead to the creation of 10,000
work places
a place where work is done
workplaces
 and a net gain of 1 million
pound
Suggestion
pounds
.
In contrast
 to the
aobve
at a higher position than
above
 mentioned, I do not agree with the statement and think that in the current economic
situation it
Accept comma addition
situation, it
 is not wise to host sporting events, as the expenses will most likely overcome the financial gain.
First
, FIFA's strict regulation on stadium parameters have
lead
Suggestion
led
 to the fact that it is extremely expensive to build a new stadium. A good example can be seen
Brazil where
Accept comma addition
Brazil, where
 it
costs
Suggestion
cost
 15 million
pound
Suggestion
pounds
 to build a single stadium.
Second
, increased ticket price and online
strimming
exuding a bodily fluid in profuse amounts
streaming
 resulted in the fact that many people refuse to pay for the ticket and stay at home to see the game online.
This
 can be seen in a new Harvard University research which has shown a steady decline in the amount of international tourists attending the Olimpic games in the
last
 decade.
Third
, It has been shown in many places,
such
 as in Japan and the
Uited
Suggestion
United
 States, that most of the building which
accomodated
be agreeable or acceptable to
accommodates
accommodated
 international events eventually end up deserted and not used. In conclusion, despite the thrill of hosting and events I do not
thing
an instance of deliberate thinking
think
 it is cost benefit
for
Suggestion
of
 the country and should be
carefuly
taking care or paying attention
carefully
 evaluated
befored
earlier in time; previously
before
 deciding.
Submitted by chilafp on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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