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Band 5.5

Many people strive to maintain successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this cause? What are the possible solutions?

#people #career #life #time
Many try to be
success
Suggestion
successful
 at
work
 and spending enough
time
 with their family at the same
time
. The main
problem
this
 cause is exhaustion and the most viable solution is publicity
campaign
 warning people about the dangers of working long hours. The principle
problem
 associated with
this
 difficult situation is spending quality
time
 with your loved ones and at the same
time
, be successful in your career which people tend to get
burn
Suggestion
burned
burnt
 out. Burnout is when people both mentally and physically tired to
such
 an extent that they no longer continue. The result of
this
 is people suffer from mental and physical health
problem
 and
this
 can
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to
breakdown
Suggestion
a breakdown
 in the family and poor performance
in
Suggestion
at
work
.
For example
, a recent government survey found that 82% CEO's felt not spending enough quality
time
 with their children because, they are completely exhausted when they
retured
go or come back to place, condition, or activity where one has been before
returned
 home due to heavy
work
 load. To tackle
this
problem
 the government should launch
publicity
Suggestion
a publicity campaign
campaign
 in the media and in schools to educate people about
dangers
Suggestion
the dangers
 of working long hours and not spending quality
time
 with their kin. Many people afraid to ask their boss for
time
 off
work
 because of the stigma surrounding people who
work
 less hours than normal people and they think they can't talk to their family about
this
 issue. A public awareness
campaign
 could shed some light on
this
 difficult situation and allow people to be more open and honest about it.
For example
, a similar initiative in Japan resulted in
52% decrease
Suggestion
a 52 % decrease
 in people calling sick at
work
 because of mental fatigue. In conclusion,
stricking
sensational in appearance or thrilling in effect
striking
 balance between family life and
work
 life is a major issue result in many.
work
Suggestion
Work
 harder
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
their capacity which
Suggestion
their capacity, which
 leads to mental and physical health issues.
However
, it can be addressed through
publicity
Suggestion
a publicity campaign
publicity campaigns
campaign
 educating people about the dangers of working too hard.
Submitted by dearcomred on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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