The population of many countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweighs the disadvantages.

#population #countries #adults #people #situation

The

population

of any country is not just seen as figures on paper, rather it is the life line of any nation. Nowadays, the

population

growth of certain countries

have

Suggestion

has

a higher proportion of youths compared to their younger ones. I believe that a large younger

population

have

Suggestion

has

tremendous positive impacts than having a large

population

older of older people. On the one hand, it is believed that wisdom comes with age. The older we get, the more the challenges we face and above all, the wiser we become.

Interstingly

Suggestion

Interestingly

, the values of wisdom

is not taught

Suggestion

are not taught

in the four walls of schools, but attained as you grow older.

addition older

Accept comma addition

addition, older

generarions

all the people living at the same time or of approximately the same age

generations

are needed in passing down the wealth of

knowlege

the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning

knowledge

to the

generation through teaching and personal interactions. The Concord Newspaper revealed that over 80% of military generals of developed nations are older men who have served for many years.

This

is because the depth of experience they have gathered over the years are needed for critical situations

such

as war, diplomatic ties and most importantly in the training of young

soilders

an enlisted man or woman who serves in an army

soldiers

Thus

, we cannot do without

the older

Suggestion

the old

ones.

On the other hand

, I strongly believe that the aforementioned reasons are just a few

advantage

Suggestion

advantages

of the many challenges that comes with old age

such

as over-dependence. There are several benefits of a large

population

of young people.

First

and foremost, the youth bring in innovations and productivity. When a nation is made of young and energetic people, they channel their energy into creative ideas that brings in profit and expansion in every sector of the nation.

Also

, the young

population

prevents the

health economic

Accept comma addition

health, economic

burden that the older

people

Suggestion

peoples'

demands.

In other words

, certain diseases

such

as hypertension, cancers and some other conditions are all related to old age, and

this

population

need be taken care of with a lot of funds. Since these diseases are not common among the young, the funds would be used for other

developmental

Suggestion

development

projects to help develop the economy. As an illustration, Sweden has the least elderly

population

and it spends only a tenth of what Australia spends on its older citizens.

As a result

, spending

such

huge funds yearly can have a negative effect on the economy. In conclusion, I believe that the younger

population

of any country has a lot to offer and it would continue to do so with little or no adverse ramification.

Submitted by M on Mon Jul 29 2019

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

408 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The population of many countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared to the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweighs the disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is thought by some that a school teacher's role is to motivate and inspire students. However, other people believe that a teacher's primary role is to pass on knowledge. What do you think is a role of a teacher?

The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018.