Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

#people #school #students #money #skill #argument

Every individual must learn the concepts of financial management but with time. In my view, children in their teenage should not be burdened with the stress of managing

money

Firstly

, children already have so many subjects at hand that they might feel stressed with an additional subject in their curricula.

Secondly

, their vulnerable minds may make them get involved in illegal activities in an urge to earn more

money

which in turn can ruin their lives forever.

Thirdly

, there

Suggestion

have been

always a right age and time to learn the insights of financial management. Learning and adopting

money

skills in teenage can make them

money

minded.

This

is turn can make them neglect morals, values and ethics.

Finally

, high school children are not mature enough to handle

money

matters in their teenage and it should be dealt with by their elders only.

However

, some people assert that learning

finance

Suggestion

financial

skills

does have

Suggestion

do have

some benefits. Acquiring

this

knowledge might help them to manage their budget in an efficient way which will teach them how to save

money

and not spend unnecessarily.

Moreover

, children having the right skills of

money

helps

Suggestion

help

them to keep a control over their extravagant demands from their parents. Conclusively,

money

managing skills might help them to control their spending and make better budgets for

it but

Accept comma addition

it, but

I firmly believe that they are relatively premature to grasp the fundamentals of it at

this

age.

Submitted by Shreyans Aery on Wed Jul 31 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent to you agree with this statement.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that the most practical way to become a professional is to gain practical experience in this field. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, teachers were the main source of information, but today students have a wide source of information, so teachers are no longer important in the modern education. Do you agree or disagree?