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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

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In many areas of
US
Suggestion
the US
, adolescents are not allowed to move outside if they are not
along
without any others being included or involved
alone
 with adults after
certain time
Suggestion
a certain time
 at
night
Use synonyms
 in order to keep them safe and prevent from various kinds of victims and illegal activities. Teenagers should not be allowed to go out alone at
night
Use synonyms
 for safety and security purposes.
This
Linking Words
 is because some locality and areas have higher crime rate than others. At particular
night
Use synonyms
 hours, criminals always move in groups to prey juvenile and try to attract them to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their selfish desires.
In addition
Linking Words
, sex predators try to perform shameful activities
such
Linking Words
 as rapes to erase the lust in the dark.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some areas are prone to accidents due to the movement of heavy vehicles and teenagers could be victims of
such
Linking Words
 accident hazards.
Thus
Linking Words
, to avoid
such
Linking Words
 accidents, the movement of youngsters should be limited in late
night
Use synonyms
 hours. Parents play a vital role in the safety of their children in bad situations.
This
Linking Words
 is because, most of the anti-social groups operate in the dark and gang parties of these groups try to involve adolescents in illegal activities
such
Linking Words
 as alcohol consumption and drug selling. If parents would be present along their children, gang would be unable to approach children.
In addition
Linking Words
, children are accompanied by adults can enjoy freedom without any fear while moving out of doors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, adolescents would be more informative about
bad situation
Suggestion
the bad situation
bad situations
 like curfew and would be more conscious in the future.
Thus
Linking Words
, parents play the most important role in children’s lives to make more safe and secure. In conclusion, It is evident that teenagers should not be allowed to go out alone at
night
Use synonyms
thus
Linking Words
 they are accompanied with adults in curfew like situations. If people
wants
Suggestion
want
 their children to be
safe they
Accept comma addition
safe, they
 should avoid their movement alone outside in
such
Linking Words
 conditions during dark and always prefer to go with their youngsters to avoid accidents.

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