IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some believe that people who do physical work should be paid on par with the people who have high level degree. Do you agree or disagree?

#believe #people #work #par #level
Some people assume that unskilled
labors
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
labours
 should have the same level of income as those who has a college degree. I totally disagree with the notion because a diploma demands from a person years of education as well as investing money, time and mental efforts in order to complete it.
First
, highly paid jobs as surgeons or entrepreneurs should be paid
accordingly
 because these professionals carry huge responsibility and their mistakes can cost lives or
multimillion
 businesses. Due to these reasons, they have to spend years of studying and practicing, while manual jobs do not need
this
 kind of effort.
Thus
, it would be ridiculous to pay equal salaries to those who is putting a lot of efforts and resources in order to be able to perform their jobs and those who is not.
In addition
, if physical workers would be paid on equal footing with qualified professionals,
latter
Suggestion
the latter
 would
lost
Suggestion
lose
 their motivation to pursue their positions.
As a result
, the economy would be in urgent demand of professionals. As well as
this, high education
Suggestion
higher education, this
this, higher education
 is expensive and many graduates have
student’s
Suggestion
student
 loans, which have to be paid off.
Consequently
, their earnings should take into account their expenses.
For instance
, I have spent 6 years for my degree and I would be discouraged and frustrated if it did not bring any compensation. In conclusion, the idea of equal
payment
Suggestion
pay
 for physical
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 and
high
Suggestion
highly
-educated workers is not possible. In my opinion, skilled jobs should be rewarded higher compared with unqualified jobs, because they demand time, money and a lot of effort to be ready for them.
Submitted by mariya.vlassova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: