IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweighs the advantages?

#dangers #chemicals #food #production #preservation
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Owing to the fact that chemical usage in
food
Use synonyms
 production has been a detrimental issue for some people, In my opinion, there are benefits
such
Linking Words
 as long lasting of
Use synonyms
food product
Suggestion
the food product
food products
 and prevention of insects which surpasses any drawbacks it might have. Admittedly, a prime drawback of usage of chemicals in
food
Use synonyms
 production is that it causes sickness and ailment which sometimes lead to death of
human being
Suggestion
a human being
human beings
 by way of disruption of stomach anytime the
food
Use synonyms
 is
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 eaten.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was a time that it was discovered that Sniper is
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 used to preserve
beans
Suggestion
the beans
 from spoiling, people that bought
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 items were reportedly rushed to the hospital which they were later diagnosed to have blood cancer.
Consequently
Linking Words
, some government officials banned
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 usage.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are benefits of using
Linking Words
this chemicals
Suggestion
these chemicals
this chemical
. One of
this
Linking Words
 is that, it preserved
food
Use synonyms
 products for a longer time.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are opportunity to buy in large quantity which will save
in
Suggestion
on
 cost because the higher the quantity the lower the cost.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, there will be more sales in the market. Another advantage of
this
Linking Words
 chemical is that it prevents insect from entering your
food
Use synonyms
 items. A recent study conducted by
world health organisation
Suggestion
the world health organisation
 (WHO) in June 2019, shows that there is
reduction
Suggestion
a reduction
 in way pesticide enter products because the rate at which government invested in
this
Linking Words
 in
other
(often plural) a command given by a superior (e.g., a military or law enforcement officer) that must be obeyed
order
 to help the farmers which boost the economy. In conclusion, while parts of the pitfalls of using chemical
includes
Suggestion
include
 terminal disease and sickness, it's numerous merits
such
Linking Words
 as prevention of insects and longer shelf life are incomparable to any demerits it might have.
Submitted by Mabel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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