More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, the majority of children from the
first
world countries face the problems of obesity. It is necessary to know the root causes of
this
trend in order to tackle its impacts effectively. There are myriad of factors making the children from the developed countries becoming overweight at a serious pace. The obvious cause is the sedentary lifestyle which discourages the active physical movement in daily life to a great extent.
Besides
, the
increasingly
Suggestion
increasing
popularity of fast food should not be underestimated. The pressure given by parents to focus on studying only is
also
a major culprit of the rising trend of childhood obesity. In practice, it is totally impossible to neglect
this
situation for the betterment of the future leaders. The physical
health
of these children could not be a perfect condition and their
health
will be more deteriorated when they reach adulthood.
This
negative effect could pose enormous burdens on their family and
also
on the government needed to spend more budgets for their
health
care.
Moreover
, the productivity of the society will be affected
significantly which
Accept comma addition
significantly, which
could seriously threaten the wealth status of their
mother land
the country where you were born
motherland
. To conclude, having
body weight
Suggestion
a body weight
beyond the optimal range is entirely unacceptable for all ages.
Therefore
, governments, non-governmental organisations, schools and parents ought to work together for the
health
of our young generations not only for their benefits but
also
for the goodness of the nations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • sedentary
  • caloric intake
  • processed foods
  • fast food culture
  • screen time
  • metabolic disorders
  • healthcare expenditure
  • lifestyle diseases
  • preventative strategies
  • nutritional education
  • public health policy
  • body mass index (BMI)
  • emotional well-being
  • stigmatization
  • exercise regimen
  • eating habits
  • junk food
  • socioeconomic factors
  • health literacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: