IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#parents #women #home #care #members #work #people #government
Due to the limited availability of cost-effective and efficient child day
care
, many parents decide to drop out from their jobs and decide to stay home and take
care
 of their families. Some people think that the
government
 should pay these parents for their decision. I strongly disagree since with the current evolved technologies, it is possible for the parent to work from home and earn their pay, whilst the
government
 could spend that cash for the benefit of the nation.
Firstly
,
this
 is the modern era where computer technologies like, the internet, have evolved and made it convenient for people to achieve anything with just a click. There are many websites and softwares that allow a parent to be able to connect with their companies and carry out their tasks from their house at their own pace.
Furthermore
, there are so many avenues for earning like, online content writers, translation jobs or even online teaching for parents who do not have a stable job.
For example
, my friend, who is a working mother of three children, is earning a salary of $10000 per month by working as an online tutor for Physics.
Therefore
, the
government
 does not necessarily have to pay these parents.
Secondly
, the
government
 would be able to spend these funds on much more important facilities that would be beneficial for the society
such
 as, health facilities, economy, and safety.
Also
, the authority could contribute for more child
care
 facilities to be built and pay for child
care
 subsidies, making it more affordable for parents with a low income.
For instance
, the availability of proper and cost-effective childcare facilities, there was a drastic decrease in the number of parents who dropped out of work to tend to their families. In conclusion, even without the payment from the
government
, stay at home parents would still be able to earn their livelihood by working through the internet and
thus
,
this
 enables the
government
 to spend its capital for the betterment of the nation.
Submitted by Rashini Dahanayake on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: