Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#parents #women #home #care #members #work #people #government

Due to the limited availability of cost-effective and efficient child day

care

, many parents decide to drop out from their jobs and decide to stay home and take

care

of their families. Some people think that the

government

should pay these parents for their decision. I strongly disagree since with the current evolved technologies, it is possible for the parent to work from home and earn their pay, whilst the

government

could spend that cash for the benefit of the nation.

Firstly

this

is the modern era where computer technologies like, the internet, have evolved and made it convenient for people to achieve anything with just a click. There are many websites and softwares that allow a parent to be able to connect with their companies and carry out their tasks from their house at their own pace.

Furthermore

, there are so many avenues for earning like, online content writers, translation jobs or even online teaching for parents who do not have a stable job.

For example

, my friend, who is a working mother of three children, is earning a salary of $10000 per month by working as an online tutor for Physics.

Therefore

, the

government

does not necessarily have to pay these parents.

Secondly

, the

government

would be able to spend these funds on much more important facilities that would be beneficial for the society

such

as, health facilities, economy, and safety.

Also

, the authority could contribute for more child

care

facilities to be built and pay for child

care

subsidies, making it more affordable for parents with a low income.

For instance

, the availability of proper and cost-effective childcare facilities, there was a drastic decrease in the number of parents who dropped out of work to tend to their families. In conclusion, even without the payment from the

government

, stay at home parents would still be able to earn their livelihood by working through the internet and

thus

this

enables the

government

to spend its capital for the betterment of the nation.

Submitted by Rashini Dahanayake on Mon Aug 05 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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