It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development?

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There is an anticipation that in the near future the percentage of elderly will be much more than young citizens in some countries.

However

Linking Words

, I do believe that

this

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trend has significant impacts on

countries’ economy

Suggestion

the countries’ economy

and industry. To commence with, when younger generations get old, they become vulnerable and require care.

Thus

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, there should be some people to take care of these old people. But, when the proportion of old people becomes more than their younger peers, a large amount of budget and

workforce

Use synonyms

need

Suggestion

needed

to cope with

this

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issue, which results in

Suggestion

enormous strain on

government

Use synonyms

as well as society.

For example

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, a professor from Monash university conducted a research, and its results revealed that since the percentage of old people in Japan has become more than younger people, Japan’s economy and industry faced a significant decline.

Furthermore

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, when people get

old

Suggestion

older

or retired new employees or

workforce

Use synonyms

should be replaced. But, in countries that are facing a negative trend in their birth rate, finding and replacing

new

Suggestion

the new workforce

workforce

Use synonyms

becomes a great challenge for the

government

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

they have to hire from other countries.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Japan due to

lack

Suggestion

a lack

of young workers in the country, the

government

Use synonyms

was forced to recruit almost one million foreigners to use them in different parts.

Also

Linking Words

, it is estimated that hiring these foreign

workforce

Use synonyms

puts heavy costs on the country and results in the reduction of life quality in many cities of Japan.

Finally

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Suggestion

the government

announced that young couple with more than two children will be exempted from taxes to motivate them for having more children. In conclusion, the negative trend of the birth rate can cause destructive consequences, and having

more old

Suggestion

older

more older

people means more problems. And

this

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problem should be addressed,

otherwise

Linking Words

country

Suggestion

the country

will a wide variety of challenges in the future.

msharifieltsTue Aug 06 2019

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
proportion
mentorship
strain
public healthcare systems
pension schemes
workforce
economic growth
automation
consumption patterns
intergenerational solidarity
sustainable living
environmental conservation

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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than work together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Some people think that success in life comes from ard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?