It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development?

#future #proportion #people #population #countries #🔸is #development

There is an anticipation that in the near future the percentage of elderly will be much more than young citizens in some countries.

However

, I do believe that

this

trend has significant impacts on

countries’ economy

Suggestion

the countries’ economy

and industry. To commence with, when younger generations get old, they become vulnerable and require care.

Thus

, there should be some people to take care of these old people. But, when the proportion of old people becomes more than their younger peers, a large amount of budget and

workforce

need

Suggestion

needed

to cope with

this

issue, which results in

Suggestion

enormous strain on

government

as well as society.

For example

, a professor from Monash university conducted a research, and its results revealed that since the percentage of old people in Japan has become more than younger people, Japan’s economy and industry faced a significant decline.

Furthermore

, when people get

old

Suggestion

older

or retired new employees or

workforce

should be replaced. But, in countries that are facing a negative trend in their birth rate, finding and replacing

new

Suggestion

the new workforce

workforce

becomes a great challenge for the

government

thus

they have to hire from other countries.

For instance

, in Japan due to

lack

Suggestion

a lack

of young workers in the country, the

government

was forced to recruit almost one million foreigners to use them in different parts.

Also

, it is estimated that hiring these foreign

workforce

puts heavy costs on the country and results in the reduction of life quality in many cities of Japan.

Finally

government

Suggestion

the government

announced that young couple with more than two children will be exempted from taxes to motivate them for having more children. In conclusion, the negative trend of the birth rate can cause destructive consequences, and having

more old

Suggestion

older

more older

people means more problems. And

this

problem should be addressed,

otherwise

country

Suggestion

the country

will a wide variety of challenges in the future.

Submitted by msharifielts on Tue Aug 06 2019

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
proportion
mentorship
strain
public healthcare systems
pension schemes
workforce
economic growth
automation
consumption patterns
intergenerational solidarity
sustainable living
environmental conservation

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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.

In many places of the world, more larger supermarkets are built while smaller local shops are closing down. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to local people?

some cities create new housing for their growing population by constructing a smaller number of high-rise buildings. other cities create more of low-rise building. which solution is better. in your opinion?

More and more business training and business meetings are taking place online rather than face-to-face. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?