It is expected in the near future that there will be higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it positive or negative development?

It is often heard that the
population
of the old will rise significantly in the future.I
personaly
as yourself
personally
believe that it has both advantages and
disadvantages
Accept comma addition
disadvantages, although
although
the demerits outnumber the merits. On the minus side
,
Accept space
,
increasing
the number
Suggestion
number
of old will have some disadvantages.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
elder people are not energetic enough to improve their society.
In other words
,
Accept space
,
they will fail to do arduous tasks owing to their aging process while the
youngesters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
can do practical skills.Thai is to say
,
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,
they
recieve
get something; come into possession of
receive
a pension which can be expended for social facilities.
Secondly
,
Accept space
,
the rate of immigration is bound to increase
,
Accept space
,
meaning that the young from other nations
,
Accept space
,
especially from underdeveloped countries will be
embaraced
include in scope; include as part of something broader; have as one's sphere or territory
embraced
embarrassed
by the government
,
Accept space
,
leading to manifold problems ranging from
rising
increasing in quantity or value
raising
the rate of crime to financial issues.
Finally
,
Accept space
,
older people will be deemed as a burden.
In deed
Suggestion
Indeed
,
Accept space
,
youngesters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
should bear the burden of the them since they have to pay heavy taxes for the public amenities which
the old
Suggestion
older
the older
generations have exempted from paying that.
Thus
,
Accept space
,
rising old
population
cannot be negative trend. On the plus side
,
Accept space
,
decreasing the young
population
in comparison with the old could have some advantages.One of the prime advantages for it is that
the more number
Suggestion
the number
of
youngesters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
in the society
,
Accept space
,
the more budgets should be expended for them.Plus
,
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,
the government should allocate sufficient fund for the young education
,
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,
which can be
spended
depleted of energy, force, or strength
spent
for other sections
such
as improving recreational places
,
Accept space
,
building hospitals as well as shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
.Another advantage is that it is
youngesters
Suggestion
the youngsters
youngsters
who bring tremendous
problems including
Accept comma addition
problems, including
commiting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
crime
,
Accept space
,
recquiring
coming back
recurring
multitude facilities for their pastime.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
rising the
population
of the old has some advantages. As outlined
aboved
at a higher position than
above
,
Accept space
,
old
Suggestion
older
population
will increase in the future and has some merits like decreasing the rate of crime and saving the budgets for other affairs and it
also
has some demerits
although
it seems to me that the demerits may overshadow the merits of that.
Submitted by msharifielts on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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