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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the change in the figure of female and male
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 and their
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 that took place in 2 countries in the UK from 1851 to 1901. In the first year of the period, the number of male
employees
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 much higher than their female co-workers. In 1861, there was a bit
difference
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of difference
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, female accounted for more than half of total
employees
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. From the following years to the end of the period, the male
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 had always more than female.
However
Linking Words
, in 1901, the proportion was nearly the same.
Factories
Use synonyms
 in these two places
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dramatically increased through 50 years. There were 721
factories
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 in 1881 reached a peak in
this
Linking Words
 period and more than triple compared to 1851. The figure remained stable at about 600
in
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from
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 1891 to 1901. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
the rise in the number of
factories
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, total
employees
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased significantly. In the
last
Linking Words
 year, there were only 61.000 workers, much lower than
1851
Change preposition
in 1851
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 with 477.100
employees
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 Clearly, the table describes the
developed
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development
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 of
England
Correct article usage
the England
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 and
Wales
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Wales's
Wale's
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 industry through the number of
factories
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 and staff. It
also
Linking Words
 illustrates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender equality in male and female
employees
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words employees, factories with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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