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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children in the past. Do you agree or disagree

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
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Nowadays, it is an irrefutable fact that our lifestyles have considerably
altered especially
Accept comma addition
altered, especially
 during the recent decades.
Consequently
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, an overwhelming majority of people unanimously suggest that, due to the lack of enough
time
Use synonyms
 children face various difficulties and suffer from enough care from
parents
Suggestion
the parents
. I am in complete accord with
this
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 group of people about
this
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 issue and below I will endeavour to shed some light on my viewpoint.
First
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 and foremost, in the modern world the role of females in the society has significantly soared, so both parents work and they can even be engaged in various jobs simultaneously.
Therefore
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, being busy with their
work prevent them from
Suggestion
work to prevent them from
 spending enough
time
Use synonyms
 with their children and having control over them. In order to solve
this
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 problem, in many
families children
Accept comma addition
families, children
 are brought to special places
such
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 as kindergartens. Undeniably, it adversely affects the relationship between parents and children.
Secondly
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, as the technology penetrates our lives so exponentially lots of activities have become available for both parents and children. In terms of effects on the parents, it is apparent that a great majority of parents have become addicted to computers or TV, so they spend their
time
Use synonyms
 in front of screens.
Such
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 changes in parents’ attitude produce negative results for their families, since they cannot interested in their children’s life so frequently.
However
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, a considerable number of people unanimously denounce and claim that even though the modern circumstances give opportunity to parents to spend only less
time
Use synonyms
 with their children, they still try to do their best for
kids
Suggestion
the kids
. Personally, I take the view that it is a shortsighted view. Having only
few hours
Suggestion
a few hours
 together is not a proper solution to
this
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 problem. To sum up, I feel confident to restate that, in the modern world children feel neglected because of lack of
time
Use synonyms
Submitted by Mahfuz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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