Music is a good mean to gather people from different cultures together. Do you agree or disagree?

No one can deny that

music

is considered as the fairest weapon (approach) that enables people of diverse races to unify without giving any regard to their ages. I entirely agree with that statement and a

further

explanation will be provided in the

lines.

Firstly

music

is a unique language which is

in the historical present; at this point in the narration of a series of past events

now

restricted to certain characters.

This

is because many foreign songs, lyrics, and melodies

are still stuck

Suggestion

still stick

in our minds since childhood.

For

example I

Accept comma addition

example, I

could vividly remember a Russian song that I used to listen constantly when I was young

Accept space

it was named “Bola Bola”

Accept space

Therefore

music

capable of passing through nations’ hearts regardless it’s tongue.

Secondly

music

is the best way to tie various generations together. Whereas it is not that easy to find people of different eras participating the same taste of

music

, certain sorts of tunes cannot be disputed over. To illustrate Om Kalthom

Accept space

the loveable and

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

singer ever,

have been listed

Suggestion

has been listed

by the majority of Egyptian despite the variation among their ages.

Thus no

Accept comma addition

Thus, no

matter their age, people certainly have some musical heritage in common. Eventually, many issues with racism has been tackled, and the credit goes to

music

Suggestion

the music

as it plays a crucial role in fighting racial discrimination.

For instance

, it has been utilized in order to unite people of white skin and those of dark skin together after a conflict that lasted for several years.

Consequently

, to eradicate hatred between citizens, consider

music

as the best procedure Overall,

although

many people could not understand a particular type of

music

, it may catch their fantasy.

Moreover

the distinction among several generations, would not affect their musical affection

Submitted by Gene on Wed Aug 07 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Music is a good mean to gather people from different cultures together. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some coutries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people , why might this be the case Do you think it is positive or negative ?

In these day, some people believe that the white collar worker must have a higher salary than the renowned athletes and artists. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?