Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets

It is true that some nations are fighting against the burgeoning of

criminal

Suggestion

crime

rate. It is considered by many that

increasing number

Suggestion

an increasing number

police

on the streets is

only solution

Suggestion

the only solution

to minimise crime. While I agree that more

police

is a good idea, I believe there are various ways to alleviate violation of

law

. Most of the people believe that allocating more

police

by local authorities at crime hotspots is able to keep the stability of security status in those areas. Statistics have shown that

predominant cause

Suggestion

the predominant cause

of illegal activities is lack of surveillance. By raising the quantity of

police

, unlawful activities

are

Suggestion

more likely to be prevented from the beginning.

Furthermore

, increasing the presence of

police

allows local residents to deter crimes by reporting potential breach of

law

Suggestion

the law

as a delay may

leads

Suggestion

lead

to adverse consequences.

However

, I think it is a short-term solution. In my opinion, government should apply technology, enforce the existing laws, and develop a better economy.

Firstly

, the government should install technology

such

as CCTV systems to put the streets under control twenty-four hours per day.

Although

applying technology may be a costly method,

Secondly

authorities

Suggestion

the authorities

involved should enforce the

law

by imposing heavier punishment

such

death penalty

Suggestion

the death penalty

, and ban civilian from owning assault weapons legally.

Lastly

, criminal issues can be tackled when the economy is stable as everyone has a source of income which will lead to lesser people to be involved in illegal activities

such

as robbing and stealing. In conclusion, placing more

law

enforcers on the streets is not the most reliable way to reduce

criminal rate

Suggestion

the crime rate

crime rate

. There should be a change in the outdated legal systems, use of high-tech systems and improved economy to minimize

unlawful act

Suggestion

the unlawful act

effectively.

Thu Aug 08 2019

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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