In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development.

Most youngsters submit shopping as a pastime activity. Personally, I believe

this

Linking Words

happens

due to

Linking Words

the lack of

after school

Use the right word

after-school

show examples

clubs, which encourage

teenagers

Use synonyms

to improve certain skills.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why the negative aspect

overweigh

Verb problem

outweighs

show examples

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

. Shopping provides people

emotional

Change preposition

with emotional

show examples

and objective needs. So it can be preferred as a leisure

time

Check wording

activity

show examples

. A Few decades ago, shopping was the most pleasurable hobby for women. But now, most juveniles find it attractive and prefer it as a form of spending spare time.

According to

Linking Words

the fact that most cities do not have enough extra-curricular clubs that offer young people spend their time doing what they are interested in.

Although

Linking Words

there are some, they have not developed yet to attract

teenagers

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in my

country

Punctuation problem

country,

show examples

there are

less

Fix the agreement mistake

fewer

show examples

attractive places

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

after school classes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, youngsters go shopping to refill their energy and feel relaxed. As far as I am concerned,

this

Linking Words

is a negative development.

Firstly

Linking Words

, most

teenagers

Use synonyms

are not yet employed. They use

pocket

Correct article usage

the pocket

show examples

money that their parents gave them. In fact, shopping demands lots of money. It will be absurd to spend money on unnecessary things.

Secondly

Linking Words

, more hobbies will be distinct after 10 years old. If shopping is considered to be one of the leisure activities,

Linking Words

such as

Rephrase

then

show examples

knitting and gardening would be forgotten.

To sum up

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development has more disadvantages than advantages. In conclusion, preferring shopping as a pastime has a detrimental effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual

teenagers

Use synonyms

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, the factor that develops

this

Linking Words

phenomenon is not the juveniles, but

teenagers

Use synonyms

should be doing shopping less

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

instead

Linking Words

they should seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other hobbies.

g_tsotsko

Aug 9, 2019

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task response

Plan your essay before you write. State a clear view in the intro and keep it to the end.

task response

Give 2-3 main ideas and support them with easy, real examples.

coherence

Improve flow by linking sentences and ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'so' and 'because'.

coherence

Make each paragraph have one main idea and a short conclusion sentence.

stance

The writer shows a clear view that shopping is not good for teens.

structure

There is attempt to give reasons and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

disposable income
leisure activity
retail therapy
local economies
fashion trends
peer pressure
social status
environmental impact
consumption
waste
materialistic
cultural activities
prominent
neglect
therapeutic
social media influence
boost
desire

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In many cities, young people prefer shopping as a form of leisure activity. Why do you think this happens? Is it a positive or negative development.

What invention in the last 30 years has made the most difference in the lives of people? Explain why it has had such a noteworthy effect. Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.