IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Universities should accept equal number of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#universities #students
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Educational institutions must take in an equally proportionate number of boys and girls for each
subject
Use synonyms
.
However
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, it completely depends on which
subject
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 interests which gender the most. In my view, it is completely dependant on what number of applications are being done for different subjects and is beyond the control of any college or university.
First
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, it is more about passion and determination to excel in a
subject
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. It may vary from individual to another.
For instance
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, Chartered accountancy is a
subject
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 which fascinates the male gender the most and
thus
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, in most of the colleges and universities which offer subjects like accounting, taxation and maths are studied more by males rather than females.
Second
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, it is observed that more females opt for Human Resource Management since it comprises of a desk job in a multi-national company.
In addition
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, it earns them a good amount of money at the end of every month to support their family.
Also
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, HR
jobs mostly
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jobs, mostly
 do not comprise of any field related work.
Third
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, stamina and mindset to perform a job
also
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 holds a great significance.
For instance
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, sales and marketing courses are mostly studied by males. The jobs require zeal, enthusiasm and high energy levels to go out in the market and convince prospective clients in order to bring in huge revenues and it requires
great amount
Suggestion
a great amount
 of time.
This
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 is mostly carried out by males as they can go on for long and usually do not have any household chores to accomplish like the opposite gender.
Lastly
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, the popularity of any course or a
subject
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 plays an important role in attracting students to study it.
For example
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, MBA nowadays, has become a
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
course
events that provide the generative force that is the origin of something
cause
 to go in for after graduation. Graduating from any stream does not matter and appeals both genders equally. Students
from
Suggestion
of
 commerce, science and arts are attracted to it. Some people assert that colleges should invite
equal number
Suggestion
an equal number
 of students for each
subject
Use synonyms
.
This
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 may increase the popularity of a
subject
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.
For instance
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, fashion is opted mostly by
females but
Accept comma addition
females, but
 if males opt for it too
then
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 they can definitely progress in the particular line. Who
knows they
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knows, they
 might become a super model some day. In conclusion, a
subject
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 may gain popularity and increase admissions for a
college but
Accept comma addition
college, but
 it is purely a choice of an individual whether to go for a particular
subject
Use synonyms
 or not.
Submitted by Shreyans Aery on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • balanced
  • learning environment
  • opportunities
  • perspectives
  • gender stereotypes
  • fairness
  • equal opportunities
What to do next:
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