IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Governments should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #education #recreation #sports
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The argument about whether governments should financially supply
education
Use synonyms
 side more than entertainments and sports has not been settled yet.I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that it is more beneficial to spend
money
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 on
education
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 rather than sports and recreation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I believe that the more
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
education
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,
Accept space
,
the more income
to
Suggestion
in
 the
country
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.
Although
Linking Words
 governments can have financial difficulties at sometimes, but it is worth every penny spent on learning fields.
Moreover
Linking Words
, variety of
business men
the body of individuals who manage businesses
businessmen
 around the world invest millions of dollars in educated countries more than uneducated.The reason for
this
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 investment is educated countries can guarantee that investors will benefit and get more
money
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 back.
For example
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, in a
country
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 like Switzerland, investments have raised significantly in the past 5 years because of the quality
od
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
education
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, “The New York Times” reported.
Thats
Suggestion
That's
 why it
is it
Accept comma addition
is, it
 is important to put
education
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 in the priority of the
governments
Suggestion
government's
government
 treasury.
Secondly
Linking Words
, taking care of
education
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 can lead to prepare a generation that can give a hand in building their
country
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. In order to boost a
countrys
Suggestion
country's
countries
country
 development of construction, educated generation is essential for
this
Linking Words
 process to succeed.
In other words
Linking Words
, there is a strong relationship between the pioneering of construction projects and how well the people are having knowledge in their fields.
For instance
Linking Words
, engineers play an important role in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of their nations by using different methods they learned while obtaining their degrees from their universities. Based on his book, Engineers the Future,
Tom Brad
Accept comma addition
Tom, Brad
 explained
thye
definite article
the
 positive outputs that a
country
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 can obtain from their well educated engineers in evolving their states.So,
this
Linking Words
 enhances the idea that proofs that well educated people have
positive impact
Suggestion
a positive impact
 on their lands. In conclusion, governments shall specify much amount of
money
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 to support learning fields more that sporting and entertaining. I believe that it is more advantageous to spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on
education
Use synonyms
.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental
  • workforce
  • fosters
  • innovation
  • inequality
  • circumstances
  • outcomes
  • hygiene
  • private sector
  • initiatives
  • engaged
  • stability
  • cohesion
  • national pride
  • economic development
  • societal progress
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