IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#obesity #countries #support
With the advent of urbanisation and rapid rise in the popularity of junk food, obesity has become a severe problem in the developed countries. In
this
 essay, I will be walking through with some important measures that can be auctioned to overcome
this
 issue along with relevant examples. In rich countries like US, UK and England, people live a sophisticated life. They hardly do any physical activities like cooking, cleaning, so on at home as according to them everything can be achieved with the power of money.
Thus
, in
such
 cases, they start consuming junk food regularly. As per the recent survey conducted by the America's Health Organisation, it was identified that around 60% of the population suffer from overweight due to deficiency of proteins and carbohydrates which lacks in burgers, hot dogs, etc. On
further
 investigation, it was found that young children are impacted in the majority.
However
, as we know, for every problem there is a solution and so is the case of fatness. There are many ways to handle
this
 issue.
Firstly
, a proper well-planned diet chart should be followed by every individual, especially kids. Here, parents play a vital role in maintaining children's healthy diet by putting restrictions in having french fries, burgers, hot dogs which are easily accessible in every shop.
Secondly
, the Government should take initiatives in advertising and broadcasting like regularly lectures in the schools and universities to stay fit with balance diet and will help self awareness to children.
For instance
, in many rural areas in India, the local people come up with street plays depicting the trending news.
Such
 techniques are attractive methodology to create awareness on one's mind. In conclusion,
although
, obesity is a serious problem in wealthy countries, but in coming years, we can keep ourselves healthy by just following above explained measures.
Submitted by vidya91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: